Maximum Gratitude, Minimal Stuff

My dad was a history buff, so I'm pretty sure my interest comes from him.  I always think of him at this time of year, since his birthday was the day after Christmas.  When I was a kid, we always put away all holiday decorations (except for the tree) on the morning of December 26th so we could have birthday balloons instead.  Apparently, my dad's birthday was never really celebrated when he was young because of its proximity to Christmas, and my mom wanted to make up for that. If you're at all interested in history, and especially the way it applies and informs us today, don't miss the limited series Death by Lightning on Netflix, with fantastic performances by Michael Shannon, Nick Offerman, and English actor Matthew Macfadyen, who manages to sound convincingly like a Midwesterner. Shannon portrays the reluctant 20th U.S. President James Garfield , a Civil War general and U.S. representative from Ohio, who was staunchly anti-slavery and pro-suffrage.  Perhaps if hi...

My family and I are long-time fans of J.R.R. Tolkien's work, especially The Hobbit and The Lord of the Rings .  My husband Jon and I had each read and loved those wonderful books more than once before we left college.  When our children were 9 and 12, we embarked on a very ambitious project.  In anticipation of the release of Peter Jackson's film, The Fellowship of the Ring , Jon and I wanted to reread the entire four-volume work, and also give our kids the chance to experience it as Tolkien created it, before their imaginations were influenced by the film interpretation.  So we committed to spend approximately one hour each evening, all through the summer and fall of 2001, reading aloud that massive and beautiful saga.  The kids clamored for more every night, and this became the high point of our family life at that time. However, none of us had ever seen or heard of Tolkien's Letters from Father Christmas ,* written and illustrated for his own children from 1...

Have you seen the wonderful 1947 film, Miracle on 34th Street ?*  It's one of my all-time favorites, and I try to watch it at least once every year.  Of course, it's perfectly cast (especially Edmund Gwenn and the young Natalie Wood), and full of delightful moments.  (The scene at the beginning about the correct order of the reindeer comes to mind, along with the bubble gum incident, the judge getting buried in letters to Santa, and so many more.) * Thank you for supporting this blog with your purchases.  If you use my links, I may earn a small commission. Not only does Miracle have its laugh-out-loud moments, but there's a love story, along with a mystery and some suspense.  Of course, it's mostly a movie about Santa Claus... or is it? Nobody's perfect. One thing that Miracle on 34th Street is not is syrupy, unlike so many Christmas movies.  In fact, the miracle of Christmas happens despite the fact that almost every character (with the exception of Kri...

For me, Christmas means music, candles, the Christmas Eve service at church, and time with family playing board games or watching the old black and white Miracle on 34th Street .  For you, Christmas might mean your annual ski trip, dressing up to attend the Nutcracker ballet, eating cookies and drinking eggnog, or hanging Christmas lights and decorating the tree.  You want to create the memories and carry on the traditions that mean most to you, but you don't want to feel stressed or anxious while you do it.  This time of year is meant to be joyful, not pressured.  So how can you make things simpler, but keep what matters? 10 ideas for a relaxed and cozy holiday 1.  Begin with deciding what Christmas means to you. Give yourself a focus, and everything will be simpler.  Other things can go by the wayside as long as you accomplish what matters most to you. 2.  Choose a mantra. Make your holiday about one main idea, and remind yourself of it frequently....

Have you heard of the Five Love Languages ?  It's a concept that's been around for more than 30 years, ever since pastor and marriage counselor Gary Chapman wrote a book about it. I'm not going to debunk the idea, since many people have found that it helps them understand and relate to their loved ones.  I do think it's important to note that all of us give and receive love in multiple ways.  Maybe the important takeaway from the Five Love Languages concept is that love is expressed by spending time and paying attention, saying kind and uplifting words, sharing physical closeness, performing acts of service, and – sometimes – giving appropriate gifts. Love is not a transaction. What I have a problem with is the assertion that, for some people, giving and receiving gifts is the main or only way they can express love or feel loved.  I think that idea is ridiculous, and demonstrably untrue.  How many of us have known someone whose parents always showered them with...

I've been choosing a simpler life for more than 25 years, and I still get caught up in Christmas Chaos.  I still get sucked into comparison thinking.  My husband and I set very clear priorities about gifts, parties, and other activities, and I still find myself vulnerable to ads, sales, and pretty, curated pictures of what other people are buying doing, and creating. So before it all gets ramped up into high gear, I want to think carefully about what I want this season to look and feel like.  It's a wonderful time of year, but it's not the ONLY time of year.  It's not right for us to burn ourselves and our wallets out so that we have no energy or cash for the next several months.  Life continues after December 25th, and we need to have some resources left. A little advance planning about what we want to do – and what we don't want to do – can help us out. 6 suggestions for a slower, simpler holiday 1.  Set limits and priorities. It's good to do this early s...

Nine times out of 10, when I tell people what I write about, they say "I could never be a minimalist."  Or "That would just be too hard."  Or "I could never give up my _____."  Or possibly, "I wouldn't want to limit myself." But here's the truth we hide from:  We're all minimizing something, whether we realize it or not. Every day, we make choices about how we'll spend our time, energy, money, attention, talents, affections, and more.  These important assets are all finite.  Even the richest or most talented person has a limit on his or her time and attention.  No one can have or do everything. So every day, we have to decide how we're going to use these precious resources.  And every choice is a trade-off.  If I say yes to doing or buying or listening to one thing, I have to say no to something else.  If I choose more possessions, I have to give up something else.  If I choose more work, I can't do something else. The cum...

All too often, we worry about producing The Best Holiday Ever, and while those online ideas for intricate themed décor, awe-inspiring parties, picture-perfect outfits, chef-inspired feasts, postcard-worthy travel, and starry-eyed children look gorgeous, the effect can be overwhelming. Social media has a way of amplifying everything, and even the most well-meant content can start feeling like a huge checklist that we're failing to complete.  Our modern Christmas isn't the remembrance of a humble birth or a relaxed day with those you love.  It's a huge performance that requires all of your energy (and money) for a month or more. And if you have kids or grandkids, the pressure to not only fulfill all of their (inflated) dreams, but to document every moment, is huge.  We've all heard this – the holidays are supposed to be magical . Now, I love a bit of Christmas sparkle and anticipation, and for many years I enjoyed the practice and preparations for holiday musical performa...

Bad news abounds.  That's a sad fact.  No matter how much we long for peace and goodwill, daily events show us that this isn't a reality for many people around the world.  And maybe, right now, it's not a reality for you.  And all the bright lights and glitter of the holidays can't change that or make it right. In approximately 4 BC, Rome ruled the western world.  Even though the " Pax Romana " ("Roman peace") was a period of relative order and stability, the wealthy got wealthier, the poor were downtrodden, and the era was marked by revolts, wars, slavery, and increasing imperialism.  To the Romans, peace didn't mean an absence of war, but the situation that existed when all opponents had been beaten down and lost the ability to resist.  Of course, this was enforced by Roman-appointed governors, occupying armies, and severe punishments such as crucifixion. Not very Christmassy, is it? Yet Jesus was born into this difficult time.  The Bible says ...

I had a very vivid dream a couple of weeks ago – I think it was a memory, although a few parts of it didn't fit with my childhood.  (For example, the house I'm remembering didn't have a fireplace.)  But much of it was real, and I awoke knowing how very blessed I was by my parents and the home they made for us. What also struck me about this holiday memory is that it doesn't feature shopping, presents, a trip, or even a purchased "experience."  It includes very simple elements, yet the sights, sounds, tastes, textures, and fragrances stick with me. As we're gearing up for Christmas, with all of our projects and plans, let's remember that many things we're spending our money and energy on might not be important in the long run.  Don't rely on gifts or even bucket list experiences to make memories.  What's important is how we make ourselves and others feel .  Maya Angelou said it best: People will forget what you said, people will forget what ...