Showing posts from February, 2019

Self-Love Isn't Selfish

Are you always trying to improve yourself?   Do most of your thoughts revolve around how you can become the ideal person you long to be? You want to be thinner, fitter, healthier. You want to be prettier, with better skin, better hair, better nails, better boobs. You want your clothes to not only fit and flatter, but also tell the world how stylish you are. You want to be more successful in your career, respected and better paid. At home, you want to be a great cook, a talented decorator, a fun hostess, perfectly organized. You want a better relationship with your partner, full of intimate communication, great sex, and complete equality when it comes to money and chores. You want to be the wisest, most loved and trusted parent, and you want your children to be smart, confident, kind, and successful in every way. I could go on, but I think you're already nodding in agreement.  In every facet of your life, you want to improve – do more, have more, achieve more. A desire for s

One Simple Piece of Relationship Advice

I met my husband 36 years ago this week, and we've been married for nearly 35 years. Sometimes people meet couples our age and wonder, "How do you do it?"  I guess they believe we've been perfectly fulfilled and blissful for all of that time. Here's the marriage is perfectly fulfilling and blissful all of the time.  Every marriage has rough patches, and some of those patches are pretty big. In fact, for the last few years, my husband and I have had a pretty intense "no go" area in the middle of our relationship.  This is an important issue we just haven't been able to resolve.  The best we've been able to do is to call a truce and accept our strongly held differences.  I believe that our commitment to each other is strong enough to allow this basic dissonance to persist. In spite of that, Jon remains the most important person in my life.  I adore my children, but I couldn't imagine life without their father.  He i

How to Show Love Today - and Every Day

How many diamond ads have you seen in the last few weeks?  How about perfume ads?  Flowers?  Chocolate?  Ads for special couples' deals at restaurants and boutique hotels? 'Tis yet another season for showing our love by giving a gift. Valentine's Day is the third largest shopping occasion of the year.  This amounts to nearly $20 billion in spending for the holiday, including gifts for pets , which account for almost $700 million.  Valentine's Day is too huge for marketers to ignore -- it's like Black Friday for florists, chocolatiers, and jewelers. There's more than one way to show you care. Valentine's Day is meant to be a time to connect with family and friends in a way that shows love and commitment.  Never mind that we should really be trying to show our loved ones that they are loved every day of the year.  Our culture has made Valentine's Day the heavy hitter, the one day we dare not fail to impress . I am not saying we shouldn't give g

The Limits of Friendship

Communication has come a long way, hasn't it? I remember my grandmother's party line, and having to wait for someone else to finish their phone conversation before you could make your call.   I remember when my boyfriend and I ran up a bill of over $200 one month calling each other long distance (this was when $200 paid my car payment AND gas for the month).   I remember lots of snail mail letters, which were nice to receive then and are practically miraculous today. I realize I'm giving away my age. The 21st century is an amazing era of communication.  Now we can call anywhere, anytime, for a fairly reasonable monthly fee.  We can email or text or post pictures and comments on social media and get nearly instant responses.  Communication is easier, faster, and cheaper than ever.   But what if we're actually becoming more disconnected by connecting with hundreds, even thousands of others? Genuine relationships always make you happier. I remember the days before the W

Someone New to Love

Introducing... my newest grandson, Damien! Babies epitomize maximum gratitude and minimal stuff.  They come to us with nothing but themselves, yet we are thrilled to welcome them. My daughter is well, despite some last minute complications.  My son-in-law continues to be a kind and supportive husband and father, and my favorite little boy, my grandson Elliot, is excited to be Damien's big brother.  Love seems to fill all our hearts and overflow with thanksgiving for the new member of our family. Damien is satisfied with so little.   What he really wants is Mama's milk, a clean diaper, a warm blanket, and enfolding arms. Along with his car seat, a cradle, onesies, swaddling cloths, booties, a cap for his head, a baby wrap, and maybe some diaper cream, his basic needs will be met for the first few months.  Just add smiling faces, quiet words and songs, cuddling and kisses, and you've covered the essentials! What are our essentials... really?