Maximum Gratitude, Minimal Stuff

We all know that time is precious because it doesn't last. Most of us have an uneasy relationship with time.  "Time flies."  We feel like it's rushing past us, like we don't have enough of it.  "Time keeps on slipping into the future."  We constantly complain that we're too busy, and we feel stressed about time. The truth about time and the way we use it Some of the problem is our own fault.  We may have one or both of these bad habits: We get hyper-busy.  Fearing that we'll miss out on an important opportunity or a valuable experience, we say yes to every request for our time.  We jam-pack our schedules, and our children's schedules.  We let being busy measure our self-worth, instead of focusing on giving our best talents and energy to a few activities we deem essential.   We throw our time away.  When our go go schedule wears us out, we lose motivation.  Then we let ourselves wallow in time, wasting it on frivolous ac...

Are you feeling melancholy and isolated at home during the current unprecedented situation?  Your anxiety levels may be up as you worry about world medical events, the economic fallout of COVID-19, or even shortages of fresh food and toilet paper. We do need to remember that for the vast majority of people who get sick, hospitalization won't be necessary.  They can self-quarantine as if they have the flu or a bad cold, and they're going to be okay. We don't know how long it will be until things return to normal, so it's important to create a "new normal" in your schedule at home.  Psychologist Dr. Robin Henderson believes it's best not to think too far ahead.  "I like to think of things in two-week chunks," she says.  "What's my life going to look like for the next two weeks, and how am I going to manage that?" So let's continue to look at strategies for coping with stress and loneliness that don't require medications or ...

Are you feeling isolated and lonely at home during this COVID-19 pandemic?  Are you struggling with worry and sadness? Many of us occasionally fall into periods of melancholy.  For some, it may be winter weather that brings it on (for me, it's the relentless heat and glare of summer).  When ordinary habits and routines are disrupted, it's easy to feel a sense of futility.  That can make you (or your children) less productive, less cooperative, more grumpy, and more prone to unhealthy snacking, impulse buying, and the influence of advertising. It is possible to shake off these moods without resorting to pharmaceuticals.  Every one of the following suggestions is backed up with medical and psychological research, and none of them cost any money to try. Important note:  If feelings of sadness and depression persist over a long period or deepen to the point where they are impairing your life, talk to a doctor as soon as possible.  Occasional melancholy ma...

As most of us shelter in place and practice social distancing, one of our most stunning lifestyle changes is a calendar full of white space. Like many of you, almost all of my away-from-home activities have been suspended or canceled altogether.  Unlike a typical break or vacation, I can't just meet a friend for coffee, go out to see a movie with my husband, or take my grandson to the California State Railroad Museum, one of his favorite places.  I'm sure many of you will miss visiting the gym, the library, your church, or your favorite restaurant. In design, white space is not merely empty – it has a purpose.  White space holds all other elements in balance , enabling them to stand out and be appreciated.  White space is calming; it lets us breathe. I don't want to downplay the economic impact of closed businesses, or the sense of isolation that can result from canceled events and services.  But during this unprecedented time, we have a chance to enjoy a S...

My husband loves hiking in Yosemite.  I adore the redwood groves, lonely hills, and rugged coastline of northern California.  Millions of us flock to Yellowstone National Park and the Grand Canyon, Greek islands and the fjords of Norway.  Or at least we take that first cup of coffee out to a porch or balcony and savor morning freshness, trees, and birdsong. What we're made for What is the appeal of these places and activities?  It's the beauty.  It's the cool, dewy air, the early fingers of sunlight, the incredible colors of water, sky, leaves, bark, birds, butterflies, and even rocks and the rich, loamy earth. Really, nothing we can buy in a store can equal this perfectly designed beauty.  Just looking at the uncluttered vista of the ocean or a forest calms and refreshes us.  It gives us energy and inspiration.  It feeds our imaginations and our spirits.  It's the home we're made for. Beauty is important.  It makes us feel good.  I...

I've been thinking that this time of enforced self isolation might be the perfect opportunity to do some home improvement. And besides, the days are longer, the birds are busy, the first buds and leaves have appeared.  Everything is energized and ready to begin, and I've noticed a heavy, tired, even slightly grubby atmosphere in my house.  I'm ready to spring clean! In the old days... Now, maybe your mother or grandmother immersed herself in a time-consuming, energy-depleting, rafters-to-baseboards scrubdown.  Maybe you were forced to help.  And maybe the thought of all of that labor is enough to make you want to run the vacuum cleaner through the middle of each room, hire someone to clean the windows, and call the job done. Unlike our ancestors, the majority of us don't heat our homes with open fires or light our rooms with candles or kerosene lamps.  We aren't forced to use either an icy privy at the back of the yard or a stinky chamber pot stored under the ...

You've probably gone through this creative cycle described by Leo Babauta, who blogs at  Zen Habits . Stage One – Inspiration.   Something you read or hear about sparks an interest. Stage Two – Addition.   As you learn more about this new activity, and find new inspiration and ideas, you start to buy stuff. Stage Three – Contemplation.   At some point, you pause to consider and ask:  Is this really important to me?  If it is, what's the most essential part of it?  Can I pare down? Stage Four – Pare Down.   This is when you start to let go of things.  You figure out what's essential to what you have been doing and learning, and if you don't quit the entire activity (which can happen), you might keep just a few key things.   For example, if you start playing chess, you might buy a couple of fancy sets, a game clock, a bunch of books and apps, and start visiting several websites.  But in the paring down phase, ...

Some boundaries are so clear we have to obey them, like the "Do not enter" sign on a one-way street, or the bar that comes down just before a train goes through a crossing.  Other boundaries are more subtle, such as the amount of space we leave between ourselves and the person in front of us in line, or the fact that you may shake the hand of a new acquaintance, but you would never hug him. Boundaries help us.  They keep us safe, preserve our personal space, enable us to cooperate with others, and keep most of our interactions polite.  And boundaries can do even more, if we will take the time and effort to erect and preserve them. Add friction. Minimalists often create boundaries which help them enjoy more space in their homes or preserve time and energy to do what is most important.  Boundaries are especially useful when replacing an unhealthy habit with a better one. Since habits are facilitated by familiarity and the path of least resistance, we need to introdu...

My family and I have a great time playing "Would You Rather...?"  It's a conversation game where participants must choose between two scenarios and explain why. If you apply this game to your relationships, your stuff, and your home, it will clarify your values and what makes you happy. Which would you choose? Would you rather have a garage full of packed boxes, or room to park your car out of the weather? Would you rather have your father's first edition Stephen King novels, or a close relationship with your sibling? Would you rather have your curio cabinets, shelves, and collectibles that fill an entire room, or enjoy a smaller home that costs $300 less every month? You may not realize it, but these represent the types of choices you're making as you declutter, downsize, or death clean.  It's important to ask yourself the questions so you can imagine the results before making a decision you regret. Many of us fear that decluttering will lead to regre...

Want to avoid bringing clutter into your home in the first place?  Start thinking differently about your purchases.   Here's a question I ask:  Is the item I want to purchase going to be an asset, or is it going to be a drain? What is an asset? An asset enhances your life and is more than worth the cost and effort of acquisition, storage, and upkeep. A purchase that becomes an asset allows you to have more time and energy for the important things in your life.  It provides efficiency, or a measurable return on your investment.  An asset provides more time, money, happiness, or energy than was taken to obtain it. Ask these questions about items you want to acquire: Does it help create more time? Does it help generate income or help save money? Does it align with your values and what you want out of life? Does it bring joy, happiness, and fulfillment into your life? Examples of asset purchases: Better cookware, knives, or an appliance yo...

I hope you've found success and benefit from The Decluttering Quick-Start Guide.  In case you missed one, here are links to parts 1 , 2 , and 3 . Overly complex routines can make us feel swamped with too many choices or mired in drudgery.  Tasks like laundry, grocery shopping, yard work, and meal preparation must be done, but we can find ways to streamline the work, or turn it into an opportunity to improve our health, relationships, and well-being. 4 quick ways to simplify daily routines 1.  Wear a uniform. Former President Obama has his gray or navy suits, Steve Jobs had his Levis and black turtleneck.  Designer Giorgio Armani sticks with an all-navy outfit of tee shirt, drawstring pants, and cashmere sweater, while art director Matilda Kahl chooses black trousers and a white silk shirt.  Having a uniform makes decisions about what to wear super easy, and once you settle on your own iconic look you always feel confident and put together. Check your close...