Maximum Gratitude, Minimal Stuff

Simple and silent, she hangs among other items – one of many choices.  But without demanding attention, she projects confidence and stability among dressier options just inches away.  She's secure in the knowledge that she's The Queen. Others might scoff at her trend-proof qualities.  She is, after all, so basic .  How has she lasted for so long?  Why is she still selected so often? Versatility and a season-spanning color are among her most appealing qualities.  Providing style, warmth, or effortless comfort depending on the day, she never fails to deliver. With a personality suited for either work or play, she's an impressive player in a fashionable world.  She ages gracefully and is loved by all.  Whether paired with a floaty sun dress, a gathered skirt, tailored pants, or jeans and a tee shirt, she not only blends harmoniously, but makes a good outfit better.  Whether cuddling with a turtleneck and a big winter scarf, or augmenting shorts and a tank top on a breezy summe

I can't do it right now and maybe you can't either.  This isn't the time to go big or go home.  It's not the time to buckle down, push through, or make a big splash (except in a swimming pool somewhere). I'm talking about the typical American whole new you, change yourself overnight, fix your life NOW plans that you may have been contemplating for your home, your bills, or something else. I've done it – or tried to do it – myself.  I've gone on crash diets and thrown myself into challenging exercise regimens and debt-reduction schemes.  They're exciting, of course, and the anticipation is wonderful.  But the reality is less so.  When I fail to achieve stunning results, the letdown is huge.  My self-esteem is trashed, and once that happens, I go right back to my usual habits.  Probably with some added "bad" behaviors, just to punish myself. Maybe you've done that with decluttering or a diet, and then life happened and you got busy, or a litt

We cannot all do great things.  But we can do small things with great love. St. Teresa of Calcutta My husband and I went out for brunch a few Sundays ago, and our young server greeted me with a big smile.  "Oh hi!  I haven't seen you in so long.  Sarah [another server] said you had surgery a couple months ago.  I hope you're doing okay now." Sarah had heard I was recovering from surgery when my husband Jon went in to pick up a to-go order about a month previous.  This server had heard and remembered the information. Such a small courtesy, with such a big and joyful impact on me.  Small is beautiful. In a world that continually pushes us to strive for more, it's easy to overlook the little things that can make a big difference to our happiness and well-being.  From a server's welcome greeting to a cool breeze after a hot day, small things can bring us peace and joy. But as we rush to complete our to-do lists and accomplish our big goals, small things can be eas

One of the most common decluttering questions is, "What should I do about sentimental items?"  Maybe you've learned the hard way that nostalgic possessions are the most difficult to let go. Do you remember having a charm bracelet when you were younger?  Or perhaps your sister had one, or even your mom or one of your aunts. Charm bracelets have quite a long history.  Originally, people wore charms or amulets around their necks, but ancient Egyptians, Babylonians, and Greeks often wore bracelets with charms for luck or protection.  Much later, Britain's Queen Victoria wore a silver charm bracelet with nine enameled heart lockets that contained wisps of each of her children's hair.  As a result, charm bracelets displaying personal mementos became a fashion craze among the upper classes all over Europe.  They were very popular once again in the 1950s through the 1970s. A snapshot of my girlhood My parents gave me a silver bracelet when I turned 10.  It had one charm,

A lot of people maintain lists of things they want to experience or become before they die.  "I want to own my own diner."  "I want to see the Taj Mahal."  "I want to complete the Wine Country Century Bike Ride."  They believe their bucket list will make them fulfilled and happy. I'm fortunate to have done a lot of traveling in the U.S. and in England when I was a child and as a young adult.  I've raised and educated my children and had a varied career.  I've enjoyed a lot of fun and rewarding experiences, many of them before I ever heard the term "bucket list." On one hand, I like the idea of setting a goal for something that's important to you, and then figuring out how to reach it.  A goal can be purposeful , such as wanting to earn a college degree or write a book.  Or it can be pleasurable , such as wanting to visit the Grand Canyon or go skydiving. On the other hand, some people seem so interested in crossing an item off a

When I came home from the hospital back in early March, I was looking for ways to make life simpler and easier .  I needed to rest and recover, and while my husband was able to take several days off work to be with me, I didn't want him to spend all his time and effort cleaning, cooking, and otherwise maintaining our home.  And once he went back to work, I still didn't have the stamina to do all my normal tasks.  So things like personal grooming, laundry, and food needed to be streamlined as much as possible.  After all, those maintenance jobs become much tougher when you're feeling tired and weak.  Yet when we don't manage the tasks, home can become cluttered and dirty very quickly, which is not just inconvenient, but depressing. One area we wanted to simplify was the kitchen.  It was easier to eat the same things for every breakfast and lunch, with the only variation coming at dinnertime.  It not only shortened the grocery list, but it also made meal preparations a sn

When I was living in Sacramento decades ago, getting my teaching credential and later working for the HR manager of a downtown firm, I often rode the city buses.  The thing about buses is that you're thrown together with strangers.  Much like when you're standing in a line, you have a connection.  You're all trying to get where you're going, and there's a type of mutual recognition and respect. You really see this when there's some sort of "incident" during the ride – someone is rude or in some way breaks the unwritten rules of behavior – and everyone rallies around to make sure things are set right.  Everyone's going in the same direction, invested in having this situation work the way it's supposed to. Not so self-sufficient after all We love our individuality, don't we?  That's why most of us prefer to drive our own cars.  We don't want to be dependent on the bus route or schedule, and we don't want to ride around with a bunc

Did you read the Little House on the Prairie books when you were younger?  I read all of them several times from about age 8 to age 11.  This was still a few years before Little House became a TV show starring Michael Landon and Melissa Gilbert (which told a story quite different from the fact-based narrative of the books).  My younger sister, however, became passionate about the show and had to watch it every week without fail. Jennifer even turned a box into an elaborate log cabin diorama for a school book report.  My mom (a crafting genius) helped her, and I pitched in to glue popsicle sticks painted with wood stain for a plank floor, weave tiny rag rugs, quilt a cover for the little bed, and create a small fireplace and chimney out of craft stones, glue, and Mod Podge. I guess we were all a little obsessed. Starting over Those 19th century American pioneers, like Little House 's Ingalls family, were literally starting over, heading for a land they knew almost nothing about. 

Change starts with you. I wish there was an easier way to put that.  If only change began when we read or saw something that excited us.  If that was the way to make a big change, we'd be able to maintain the "aha" moment.  The thrill would last.  Each day we'd feel energized for our new path. If only reading my blog, or watching a podcast, or joining a class took care of making the change you dream about.  Those things might be the inspiration, they might offer a guide, they might create a community you can join – but you need to take the steps. A thousand steps Or what about the adage that says change starts when you hit rock bottom?  If only that were true.  I've known people who believed they'd hit rock bottom, tried to change, and then when things started to go wrong (or they were confronted with the demons they'd been hiding from all along), they fell again.  Sometimes they fell further.  Rock bottom hadn't been the bottom after all. True change

If you want to, you can become a minimalist overnight by renouncing all of your possessions.  Hire a firm to do an estate sale, or call 1-800-GOT-JUNK , and get rid of everything fast.  Keep some underwear and toiletries, a couple pairs of pants and a couple of shirts, and your most comfortable shoes.  Maybe you can keep your phone and some ID.  Now you're a minimalist! Of course, that's not a realistic approach for most of us.  In fact, I don't know anyone who would choose to live like that, including myself. A slower, less drastic approach works better.  So I recommend this step-by-step guide. 10 steps to a simpler home 1.  Stop the bleeding. Just like an emergency worker doing triage, you need to stabilize your situation before you can continue with the process.  This means you need to stop buying unnecessary things. You can never reduce clutter until you stop bringing it into your home.  You need to get control of your shopping habits , which will also help you save mon