Posts

Showing posts from February, 2025

It's Time to Face the Truth: We're All Minimizing Something

Image
"I could never be a minimalist." Nine times out of 10, this is what people say when I tell them what I write about.  "I could never give up my _____."  "It would just be too hard."  "I wouldn't want to limit myself." But here's the truth we hide from:  We're all minimizing something, whether we realize it or not. We're already limited. Every day, we make choices about how we'll spend our time, energy, money, attention, talents, affections, and more.  These important assets are all finite.  Even the richest or most talented person has a limit on his or her time and attention.  No one can have or do everything. So every day, we have to decide how we're going to use these precious resources.  And every choice is a trade-off.  If I say yes to doing or buying or listening to one thing, I have to say no to something else.  If I choose more possessions, I have to give up something else.  If I choose more work, I can't do some...

How to Live at Peace with Your Loveable Packrat

Image
Many who try to simplify their lives may find at some point that it's not the clutter that presents the biggest challenge to a peaceful, manageable life with less, but the person they live with.  Living with a packrat can be really frustrating, especially if that person is your life partner, but even if he or she is your college roommate. I get comments and emails from people who want to know how to deal with the situation. I've been trying to declutter, but my husband's/wife's/teenager's/roommate's stuff is driving me crazy!  They're not on board with my quest for a simpler life, and I'm getting frustrated.  How can I live with a packrat? If you're in this situation, decluttering by itself isn't going to add to your peace.  In fact, it might create more tension in your household.  It's important to find ways to deal with the issue. 4 ways to deal with your differences This issue isn't confined to clutter, and it affects a lot of relation...

True Love Means Saying "I'm Sorry"

Image
We say it easily to strangers:  "Oh, sorry, my bad, I misunderstood you."  "Excuse me, I didn't see you.  Sorry." We say it easily to our bosses:  "Sorry, but I'm going to need an extra day for that report because of that other report you asked for.  Let me fill you in on what I have so far." We say it easily to friends for small things:  "Sorry I'm late.  I hope you didn't wait long." Some of us apologize all the time for little or unavoidable things that almost don't need an apology.  But if you're anything like me, there are other times when apologies are difficult.  That's usually when you really have something to apologize for.  When an apology is necessary in order to repair a relationship.  When the apology involves accepting blame (or part of it) for something you did or didn't do. The conditions of love With Valentine's Day around the corner, it's time to think about love, not just for romantic par...

42 Years, or the Secrets That Keep Your Relationship Strong

Image
I can't believe it's been 42 years since I met my husband.  We sat next to each other in Sunday school on a cold and rainy day, at a church I was being paid to attend.  (I had been hired to provide special music for the morning service.)  And here we are, married for over four decades, commemorating that first accidental meeting and the one – even more surprising – that occurred the next day . The basis of a long-term relationship isn't flowers or date night, as enjoyable as these are.  Author Erica Bauermeister describes these as "the equivalent of a new color painted on your walls."  And that's pleasant, maybe a little exciting, but it has nothing to do with the sturdy structure of your house. And structure is what you need for longevity. Essential building blocks So what does form a solid structure – the firm foundation, sound frame, and impermeable roof of your relationship?  It's unloading the dishwasher even though it's your partner's turn, ...

How to Be a Part-Time Minimalist

Image
Do you ever wonder if you're doing minimalism the "right" way?  Maybe you cleaned out your closets and your junk drawers, got rid of the china cabinet and the extra TVs, but then a few days later you bought some new clothes or books. Or maybe you've streamlined your budget and paid off almost all of your debt, but now you're thinking the money you've put into your emergency savings account could pay for your dream trip to New Zealand. And maybe you stay home with your family most week nights, and you've cut your involvement in extra meetings and activities that no longer excite you, but each weekend seems to have a church responsibility, another job you want to finish in your fixer-upper home, and/or a get-together of some kind. Are you really a minimalist? What minimalism is Minimalism isn't about getting rid of everything you own or living like a monk in a cave.  It's about getting back to basics, keeping only what you need, use, and love, and en...