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Feeling Down? Try Cleaning Up.

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I know this won't work for everyone, but it does for a lot of people.  If you're feeling sad, worried, or overwhelmed, instead of trying to soothe yourself with something that might wind up making you feel worse (such as an extra glass or two of wine, a sweet treat, a TV or gaming binge, or an expensive shopping trip), try doing something that might actually make you feel better. After all, the antidote for feeling out of control isn't to abandon control.  Feeling upset is a reason to seek order and purpose, not to abandon them. My prescription A friend was angry with her boss, so she spent the afternoon cleaning out her office.  Sorting, tossing, shredding, making space, and finally organizing helped her calm down.  Plus, she loved her tidied, pretty work area so much that she proudly posted a couple of pictures on social media. The sense of satisfaction with a job well done will improve your mood, too, and increase your sense of competence and efficiency. This isn...
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How to Tackle the Hardest Thing About Decluttering

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Yes, decluttering can take a lot of time.  It can be physically taxing.  It can even be emotional.  But these aren't the hardest things about it. The real challenge is the number of decisions that need to made, over and over, about everything you own.  You don't just need to handle all of your possessions – you need to decide what to keep and where to store it.  You need to decide what to discard, and how best to do that (sell, donate, recycle, trash). We all know that decision-making is fraught with peril.  It's not just fatiguing.  You start worrying that you're missing something important, or you get trapped in overthinking.  That's why we so often avoid making decisions.  Our aversion causes us to procrastinate, which is at the root of our clutter problem.  It just seems easier to shove something into the back of a closet and leave the decision for later – or never. Clutter is nothing more than postponed decisions. Barbara Hemphill T...
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How Trying to Be Prepared for Anything Might Make You Less Prepared for Life

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Most of think we're being practical when we hang on to extras "just in case."  The spare cables, extra towels, surplus mugs and all of those canned green beans we got cheap are tucked away for the future when they might come in handy. It feels reasonable.  Farsighted.  Adult.  Certainly, we're trying to protect ourselves from future need or inconvenience. But while all of this clutter might look like security, it could be stealing something we need more – the ability to adapt when life changes. The burden of "just in case" We might think that keeping all the extras makes life easier.  But if you've ever had to move house, or just search for something in an overcrowded drawer or closet, you know that more isn't always better. Just imagine if you had to move within the next month for a new job or to care for a family member.  How much work would that entail?  How much more effort is required because you have to sort through and make decisions about st...
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It's Memorial Day in America - How Will You Spend It?

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I appreciate the men and women who have served in the armed forces.  They sacrificed time, comfort, safety, and sometimes their futures so that I could live in a country that still believes in democracy and freedom. Today, my husband Jon and I will give thanks for these family members who gave their lives: my grandfather's older brother Robert, who died fighting in France in World War I Jon's grandfather August, who was killed while driving an army ambulance in north Africa during World War II Raymond, Douglas, and Smitty, comrades and friends of Jon's father Bob, who perished fighting in Germany during World War II We also appreciate other relatives who served: Jon's uncle Ray, who served during World War II my father Robert, his brother Kenneth, and all four of my mother's brothers, who served in the army at various times during the Cold War Jon's older cousin Steve, who was wounded in Vietnam My sister-in-law's father Dan and my son-in-law's father Ri...
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How Your Home Calms You - Or Stresses You Out

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You know how relaxed you feel when you come in your door after a long day at work and an awful commute?  Or maybe you get the feeling when you arrive after a trip.  No matter how much fun you had, how nice your hotel, or how perfect the weather, it just feels good to come home. Maybe you enjoy the familiar scent.  (We like to suffuse the air with scents of cedar, moss, and vanilla.)  Perhaps you remove your shoes, open the embroidered curtains in your living room to let in the light, and take your favorite seat on the couch.* The way my home feels isn't an accident.  It's the result of many small, intentional choices I've made so my space not only looks attractive, but also fills me with peace. Most of us think about home design in terms of aesthetics.  Does this art go with the couch?  Do the throw pillows match?  Is this flooring on trend?  But the details of our homes impact our senses, and these cues make us feel either soothed or ...
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One Question that Could Change Your Life

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Rose Lounsbury, a professional organizer, former middle school teacher, and mother of teenage triplets, has a personal definition of simplicity that I really like: Simplicity is getting very clear about what you want, and then having the guts to let go of everything else. Back in 1994, when I decided that instead of sending my daughter to kindergarten, I wanted to homeschool her until she was a confident, independent reader, my desire was for our family to be able to live comfortably on my husband's salary while I took a few years away from my own career.  (At the time, I only planned to homeschool until my younger child was ready to start 4th grade.  Little did I know how much we would love and benefit from independent learning!  I wound up homeschooling my two kids until they went to college – a total of 14 years.) To do that, I (a long-time overachiever) had to have the guts to leave my job.  (I needed my husband's support too.  Thank you, Jon.)  I had t...
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12 Little Habits to Improve Your Life Today

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In a recent post , I happened to mention several benefits of quitting tobacco.  That's not something I've done, because I've never been a smoker.  But my mother's father and all of her brothers were chain smokers from their teens into their late 50s, when they decided to quit.  As I remember it, there were false starts and setbacks, but eventually all of them were non-smokers.  And my uncles all lived into their 80s. Quitting tobacco is a huge habit change, and not easy.  The habits I want to talk about today are nothing like that.  They won't require counseling or treatment.  They're easy to implement without a lot of preparation.  They take just a few minutes to perform.  (Some of them take almost no time and only a bit of effort.)  They're all beneficial. Why don't more of us do them?  I have no answer for that, but it doesn't make sense.  So here's the challenge:  Implement just one of these habits today and every day...
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