Maximum Gratitude, Minimal Stuff

I'll admit, I've spent most of my life competing against others rather than encouraging them.  Success has always been important to me, and was important to my parents.  My desire to be the best often caused me to tear others down instead of building them up.  That was wrong of me, and I'm sure I missed out on some valuable friendships because of it.  Learning to collaborate and encourage at an early age would have benefitted not just my rivals, but me too. The mindset of competition assumes there's a finite amount of success – that one person's accomplishment means there's less opportunity for me.  That thinking is wrong.  There's probably no limit to the good and valuable things that can be achieved. Cooperation begins where competition leaves off. Of course, sometimes there is only one winner.  There's only one first place and one gold medal.  If you're competing for a scholarship or a coveted job, there's only one opportunity to get what you

A confidence boost can take many forms.  A new outfit or a new hairstyle can make you feel attractive and put together.  Getting a promotion at work makes you feel appreciated and successful.  Accomplishing a goal, such as completing a 10K race, writing the first draft of your book, or mastering a new cooking technique can make you feel not only satisfied, but powerful . This isn't about developing an over-inflated ego or becoming a narcissist.  To be happy, we need to feel useful and knowledgeable and believe that we'll be able to cope with our lives. How compliments help A lot of us give compliments as a way to be sociable and supportive to friends, co-workers, or even strangers.  And many parents are convinced that their children's self-esteem hinges on receiving plenty of compliments and rewards just for showing up.  Yet too often we don't make enough of an effort to compliment other people close to us, such as spouses, siblings, or parents. It's true that a co

Hygge (pronounced "hoo-gah") became popular a few years ago among decorators and lifestyle influencers.  Because our society is capitalist, this meant an opportunity for sales!  So hygge blankets, candles, slippers, cardigans, cookbooks, and even a hygge game came on the market. Everyone wants to be relaxed and comfortable at home, which is the appeal of hygge.  The thing is – you can't buy it .  Hygge is minimalist in that it doesn't require a bunch of props.  As author Louisa Thomsen Brits describes it, Hygge happens when we commit to the pleasure of the present moment in its simplicity.  It's there in the things we do that give everyday life value and meaning, that comfort us, make us feel at home, rooted and generous. We're at odds with nature's rhythm. Autumn is when nature slows down.  Temperatures dip, leaves start to turn, the growing season has finished and harvest begins.  Yet our tempo often speeds up as school starts and children get busy with

Do you ever drive down the highway or out on a country road and see someone's old couch or mattress?  When driving through the orchards and croplands around my town, I sometimes see stuff like this in an irrigation ditch.  I can't believe people do this, and leave it for the farmers to clean up or pay for disposal. Tossing stuff you no longer need or want into a dumpster isn't minimalism – it's the equivalent of littering , just like the people who throw things out on the side of the road.  It may seem simple, but it's not responsible or good for the environment. Unfortunately, some of what we remove from our homes is garbage , and there's no place for it but the landfill.  But when getting rid of clutter means mindlessly tossing it into the garbage, it becomes too easy to buy more and fill our homes up all over again.   By becoming more accountable, we change our minds about purchasing.  I believe that when you thoughtfully declutter, you'll become very sen

Humans are meant to be creative.  By pushing boundaries, breaking new ground, and developing inventive ideas and techniques, we've adapted and survived through the ages.  Creativity makes us responsive and resilient, and it feeds our souls. But what if you feel like you're in a creative rut?  What if you're too busy to do anything creative?  We've all been there, and these tips can help you flex your creativity once again. Practices that jumpstart creativity 1.  Change your environment. We can get locked into thinking the same way when we're in the same surroundings day by day.  My house is the same, my neighborhood and workspace haven't changed – how can I shake myself out of feeling bored with the same old stuff? Rearrange your house or your workspace.   Change around pictures, plants, even furniture for a "new" look. Add a new scent.   Try a new candle or reed diffuser.  Run a cut-up lemon through your garbage disposal.  Place a bouquet of lavender

I think it's a positive choice to remember our mortality.  It may not be something we think about every day, but it shouldn't be something we ignore completely.  It's not only an inevitable part of life, it's part of what gives life meaning.  As Brad Pitt (as Achilles) says in the movie Troy ,* The gods envy us.  They envy us because we're mortal, because any moment might be our last.  Everything is more beautiful because we're doomed. I'm getting ready to celebrate a birthday, and this is a question I want to contemplate.  It seems particularly apropos since I had emergency surgery in February, and have had pneumonia twice.  This has not been a healthy year for me. It's easy to forget the value of even one day , especially in a world that's always in a hurry and full of distractions.  But we could decide to approach each day as the gift it is, with the realization that none of us is guaranteed tomorrow.  What if I knew this year was my last? * This