One Simple Piece of Relationship Advice

I met my husband 36 years ago this week, and we've been married for nearly 35 years.

Courtesy of Dane Wilson

People are so funny when I share that information.  Sometimes they say, "You don't look old enough to have been married 35 years!"  Haha.  What a very kind lie.  Other times they say, "Wow!  How do you do it?"  I guess they believe we've been perfectly fulfilled and blissful for all of that time.

Here's the truth...no marriage is perfectly fulfilling and blissful all of the time.  Every marriage has rough patches, and some of those patches are pretty big.

Love Every Day

Valentine's Day is yet another American holiday taken over by shopping.  How many diamond ads have you seen in the last few weeks?  How about perfume ads?  Flowers?  Chocolate?  Ads for special couples' deals at restaurants and boutique hotels?

Valentine's Day is the third largest shopping occasion of the year (topped by Christmas, Hanukkah, and other winter holidays, and Mother's Day).  This amounts to nearly $20 billion in spending for the holiday, including gifts for pets, which account for almost $700 million.  One article I read said that Valentine's Day is too huge for marketers to ignore, and that it's like Black Friday for florists, chocolatiers, and jewelers.

The Limits of Friendship

Genuine Relationships Always Make You Happier.

The 21st century is an amazing era of communication.  I remember my grandmother's party line, and having to wait for someone else to finish their phone conversation before you could make your call.  I remember when my boyfriend and I ran up a bill of over $200 one month calling each other long distance (this was more than 35 years ago, when $200 paid my car payment AND gas for the month).  I remember lots of snail mail letters, which were nice to receive then and are practically miraculous today.

Now we can call anywhere, anytime, for a fairly reasonable monthly fee.  We can email or text or post pictures and comments on social media and get nearly instant responses.  Communication is easier, faster, and cheaper than ever.  But what if we're actually becoming more disconnected by connecting with hundreds, even thousands of others?

A New Love

Introducing my newest grandson, Damien!

Babies epitomize maximum gratitude and minimal stuff.  They come to us with nothing but themselves, yet we are thrilled to welcome them.

My daughter is well, despite some last minute complications.  My son-in-law continues to be a kind and supportive husband and father, and my favorite little boy, my grandson Elliot, is excited to be Damien's big brother.  Love seems to fill all our hearts and overflow with thanksgiving for the new member of our family.

And Damien himself is satisfied with so little.  Mama's milk, a clean diaper, a warm blanket, enfolding arms.

Along with his car seat, a cradle, onesies, swaddling cloths, booties, a cap for his head, and maybe a baby tub and some diaper cream, his basic needs will be met for the first few months.  Just add smiling faces, quiet words and songs, cuddling and kisses, and you've covered the essentials!

The Declutter Dare

You can declutter 100 things in an hour.

Yes, you really can.  Here's how.

A Body In Motion Stays In Motion

It's a law...Newton's First Law.  Maybe you learned it in high school science.

A body at rest stays at rest.  A body in motion stays in motion.

So decide to be the body in motion.  Don't stayed mired in situations that don't fulfill you.  Take one step, any step, to start moving in the direction you want to go.  Starting is the hard part, but once you do it, you'll have momentum to keep going.

Why Minimalism?

A lot of people think of "minimalism" as a huge white room with a white couch, a glass table, and some modern art.

That is one minimalist style or design aesthetic, and it might be appropriate in the expensive penthouse apartment of someone who has a trust fund but no family, no pets, and whose hobbies are travel and yoga.  However, most of us don't (and don't want to) live like that.

So what do I mean by "minimalism"?

To me, minimalism means living with less clutter, busyness, debt, and stress so I have room for what really matters to me.  I want to enjoy, appreciate, and savor the people, activities, and things that bring value to my life, while minimizing everything else.

There are many reasons to explore minimalism, and the "why" will be slightly different for everyone.  Figuring out your "why" is key to finding motivation and endurance when you encounter obstacles in your minimalist path.  So settle in with a cup of tea and a notebook and pen, and think about what has brought you to this place in your life.