How to Slow Down and Avoid Christmas Chaos

I've been choosing a simpler life for more than 25 years, and I still get caught up in Christmas Chaos.  I still get sucked into comparison thinking.  My husband and I set very clear priorities about gifts, parties, and other activities, and I still find myself vulnerable to ads, sales, and pretty, curated pictures of what other people are buying doing, and creating.

So before it all gets ramped up into high gear, I want to think carefully about what I want this season to look and feel like.  It's a wonderful time of year, but it's not the ONLY time of year.  It's not right for us to burn ourselves and our wallets out so that we have no energy or cash for the next several months.  Life continues after December 25th, and we need to have some resources left.

A little advance planning about what we want to do – and what we don't want to do – can help us out.

6 suggestions for a slower, simpler holiday

1.  Set limits and priorities.

It's good to do this early so you don't get carried away by the hype.  Have a conversation with everyone who lives with you, ask questions, take notes, and find answers.

What do you want to make happen this season?  What's important to you; what's non-negotiable?  What has been special about Christmases past, and what has been more trouble or cost than it was worth?  This is personal to you and your family, and it doesn't have to look like what anyone else is doing.

How much do you want to spend?  Set a budget that won't leave you with credit card debt you'll be paying until next summer.

Who do you want to give gifts to?  If you want to cut back, draw names, or something else, now's the time to discuss that with extended family and friends.

How much crafting do you want to do?  Keep it reasonable so you're not up all night trying to finish throw quilts for your sister and your four sisters-in-law.  (Ask me how I know about this.)

2.  Take a sabbatical from social media.

Social media is especially frenetic during the holidays as everyone posts pictures of their trees, table settings, and outdoor décor.  It's very hard to stay out of the comparison game.

Beyond that, social media is a marketplace.  The companies that support the platforms and write the algorithms are always trying to sell you something, and the more you're exposed to the sales pressure, the harder it is to resist.

It's okay to step away from social media for the next several weeks.  You can still message your friends and family, but resist scrolling.  See how you feel after a few days of freedom.  I think you'll appreciate it.

Give yourself some space to breathe and create your own holiday magic.  If you want some inspiration, take a walk or a drive to see neighborhood lights, or – even better – get into nature.  Take a walk in a forest if you can, or get out one evening and look at the winter stars.  Meanwhile, at home, light some candles, craft an evergreen wreath, and relax.

3.  Practice saying no.

People are going to ask you to parties.  They're going to ask you to help with the school holiday fair.  They're going to ask you to sing at the late service on Christmas Eve (because, after all, you don't have little children at home any more).

Just remember that every time you say yes when you don't really want to, you've just shut the door on the possibility of something you would like to do.  "No, thank you," isn't rude, even though our culture has conditioned us to be people-pleasers.  "No, thank you" preserves your priorities and your sanity.  Practice it this holiday season.

4.  Moderate sweets and alcohol.

We're in the Season of Sugar, which starts before Halloween and goes until Valentine's Day and beyond.  Sweet things are uncommon in nature, and our ancestors probably gorged themselves when they found ripe berries or an accessible beehive.  Now that sweeteners are plentiful and cheap, we gorge ourselves all the time.

But too much sugar makes us irritable as we come down from the high.  It drains our energy and weakens our immune systems – just when we're all spending more time inside, closer to anyone with a virus or infection.

Enjoy a taste of your favorite holiday sweets, but decide now to keep some balance.  Do the same with alcohol, which has the same negative effects.

Alcohol is a toxin, so your liver prioritizes its metabolism in order to remove it from your body.  However, if you drink too much, the liver can't keep up.  Eat a lot of food along with your alcohol, and the liver will break down the alcohol before metabolizing the food.  That means more food will be stored than utilized.  "Stored food" equals fat!

Instead, drink citrus-infused water and hot cinnamon apple spice tea.*  Eat turkey.  Eat ham.  Eat butternut squash soup.  Eat baked potatoes (without too much butter and sour cream) and baked yams (without marshmallows).  Eat roasted Brussels sprouts and green bean casserole.  Feast on these festive staples before you go for sweets or alcohol.

* This blog has NO ADS, so I count on your support.  If you purchase through my links, I may earn a small commission.

5.  Get into nature.

Want a vaccine against consumerism?  Time away from screens?  A break from worrying about work or your busy to-do list?  Spend some time in nature.

You don't need high-end sportswear or fancy equipment.  You don't even need to take a drive to the mountains or the seashore.  Simply visit a park, a garden, or your front porch.  Watch the sky – sunrises, sunsets, clouds, birds, the moon and stars.  There's plenty to see that will awe and excite you.  Then look down to see rocks, acorns, pinecones, bugs, critters, and anything that grows – even in sidewalk cracks in the city.

Enjoy the benefits of fresh air, sunlight, and living things to calm anxiety, boost your mood, sharpen your attention, and improve your sleep.

6.  Be present.

We place so much emphasis on the high points of life – holidays, weddings, graduations, and such – that we're prone to miss the joys and beauties that occur on a daily basis.  I know I've been so focused on the details of planning for a big event that everything and everyone else took a back seat.  With my eyes fixed on my to-do list, I couldn't be bothered with anything else.

It's not a radical idea to say that life is made of small moments.  Life is not the highlight reel you curate for social media or a scrapbook.  Life is all of it – the order, the mess, the smiles, the tears, the success and the failure.

Life is also the hushed, expectant glow of a winter sunrise, my husband's bleary-eyed "Morning, honey," and the homemade cinnamon café au lait that I will sip and savor as I eat breakfast, instead of gulping it down as I race to my first appointment.

We know this, yet we so often fail.  So let's try to make some progress in this area.  Try to stay present in each moment without worrying about the next or about what "has to" be done.  Notice the joy that's right in front of you, and your life won't seem like it's speeding by.

Better than before

Remember to give yourself some grace.  You won't undo years of Christmas Chaos in one season.  You will fumble and make some choices you'll wish you hadn't, but they will be fewer than before.

If you want to avoid hurrying, debt, and the jaded feeling of too much consumerism, and instead focus on the people you love and the time you have to spend together, I hope this post inspires you to make some changes.

Related article:  If You Love Christmas but Hate Waste, Try Thrifting

Did you enjoy this post?  It's adapted from a chapter of my new book, A Simpler Christmas: Celebrate a Holiday with More Joy and Less Fuss, available on Amazon in multiple formats.