How to Access the Life-Enhancing Power of Gratitude

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Tomorrow is Black Friday, the biggest shopping day in the U.S. and other countries around the world.  In 2025, more shopping is expected to happen online than in stores, but for many people, Black Friday shopping is still a traditional, social experience.  Even though retailers now offer Black Friday sales throughout the month of November and beyond, over 76 million Americans visited stores in person on the day after Thanksgiving last year, and a similar number are expected to brave the crowds and the lines this year too.


Of course, the marketers that design Black Friday events and promotions are hoping to convince us that our lives (or our holiday gift recipients) will be happier and better if we give them our money in exchange for their products.  They don't just sell products – they sell feelings, aspirations, and solutions to problems we don't even know we have.


"Expect more, pay less."  "Save money, live better."  "Because you're worth it."  These and other slogans are intended to remind you that you're entitled to buy what they offer.  You work hard and you've earned it.  Our thinking becomes "I deserve this."  It doesn't matter if we've already got plenty.  Advertisers want us to be discontented, and most of us are.  Almost all of us have lists (mental or actual) of things and experiences we want to have.  And if we think we're getting them at a discount, we'll feel free to buy even more.


Thanksgiving pumpkin pie



The choice to rejoice


This sense of entitlement drives a lot of spending, but it can be devastating to our well-being.  When we start to believe that we deserve a certain standard of living or that we should always achieve our goals, we set ourselves up for constant frustration and unhappiness.  Entitlement causes us to curse setbacks, rather than learning from them.  It makes us greedy and impatient.  And instead of noticing the many blessings and privileges we already have, we spend our time grousing about what we don't have.


This mindset ensures that no matter how much we buy or experience, we remain forever unfulfilled.


How can we turn this around?  It's a wonderful paradox that the way to be happier is to stop feeling like the world owes us something.  This shift in perspective can change the way we see everything.

  • A traffic jam can be stressful and it slows you down, but you can focus on the fact that you're driving instead of walking, and your vehicle has a working heater (or air conditioner) to keep you comfortable while you wait.
  • A rainy day may cancel (or complicate) your plans, but you can be grateful that reservoirs are filling and your garden is getting the water it needs.  Meanwhile, maybe there's something else you enjoy that you can do with your newly-free time.
  • There's a huge line at the grocery store, but look at the bounty filling your cart!  Not only does it take a lot more time and labor to grow the food you're waiting to buy, but some things wouldn't even be available in your area, such as the bananas, cocoa powder, and Earl Grey tea I bought yesterday.
  • Your delayed flight is inconvenient, and makes your trip longer and more tiring, but isn't it amazing that you can fly to your destination?  Travel that would have been either impossible or a matter of days (or weeks) 100 years ago has become just a few hours today.
  • The health diagnosis might be sad, scary, or expensive, but today you're alive and conscious.  You have family and friends who will be helping and praying for you, and there's some hope that the treatment will bring improvement.  And you have insurance that will cover much of the cost.


When we choose to see how much we can be thankful for, instead of what more we want, our lives change.  We become happier, contented, and more hopeful.  Even if there are still goals we're working toward, we're better equipped to appreciate the journey and celebrate the little wins along the way.





How to launch your gratitude practice


A gratitude practice is a ritual that causes you to slow down and be intentional about giving thanks.  We may do this on Thanksgiving Day, but a daily gratitude practice can improve your life in many ways.  Your practice could incorporate journaling, writing thank you notes or texts, saying a prayer of thanks at meals, or other activities.


Why not start right now?  Take a few minutes and ask yourself these questions:

  • What are some things I take for granted that I should be thankful for?
  • Who are the people I'm thankful for, and how can I make sure I don't take them for granted?
  • When I look around me, what's the first thing I see that I'm thankful for?

A life based on a wish list and the desire for more will leave you feeling needy and frustrated.  But a life full of gratitude is a full life that lets you see the positive aspects of each day.  I know what choice I'm going to make.




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