Is Your Life Really Simple, or Does It Just Look That Way?

It's fairly easy to appear to live simply.  I just need a tidy home, a small wardrobe, a well-planned schedule, and a balanced budget.  Right?

But I've had weeks where everything looks fine on the surface, and yet I'm exhausted underneath.  I'm overscheduled, juggling bills, and hiding clutter in a drawer or behind a door.  Or I'm emotionally overwhelmed – lonely, angry, worried, stressed.  Running on fumes.  Can you relate?

True simplicity

Here's the truth:  Simplicity is not a look.  It's not a home that both Martha Stewart and Marie Kondo would love.  It's not an Instagrammable pantry or a neatly written, bullet-pointed to-do list.

No, simplicity is a feeling.  It's the feeling of having space – in your room, in your day, in your mind, and in your chest when you breathe.

If your house looks super-neat on the outside, but you're still having to find places for way too many things, still organizing and reorganizing to optimize space, then maybe you haven't yet reached simplicity.

If your budget is balanced, but only because you can put off paying one bill in favor of another this month, maybe you haven't attained simplicity.  If you're skimping on savings or charity to pay for that extra meal out or that Amazon purchase you had to have, maybe your priorities aren't what you think they are.

If your wardrobe is small, but you dislike it, maybe you need to revisit your choices.  Why aren't they working for you?  What's really bothering you?  What's the simplest way for you to feel comfortable and confident about how you look?

If your schedule seems to work on paper, yet leaves you feeling worn out or resentful, what needs to give?  Is it a commitment you said yes to even though your heart wasn't in it?  Is it an obligation you accepted out of guilt?  Is it a habit that steals too much of your free time without providing rest, refreshment, new energy, or new ideas and enthusiasm?

If your house, wardrobe, budget, and schedule are all satisfactory, but you're still feeling overwhelmed, try to figure out what's draining you.  Are you spending time and energy on what you really value?  What is that?  For me, it's my husband, kids, grandkids, music, writing, and books.  The freshness of early morning.  The green of fields and trees.  A hefty dose of solitude.  The scent of coffee.  If my time doesn't reflect those things, I feel less happy.

Our culture has convinced us that the answer to our happiness is always to add something new.  Buy something, do something, go somewhere.  But often we'd be happier if we subtracted something.  There are things that build up and block the flow of joy in our lives.  Sometimes it's an excess of possessions, but it can also be too many commitments, too many errands, too many phone calls, too many emails.  Maybe what's harming us is the relentless ugliness of the news and what our leaders are doing.

Simplicity is not just about what you let into your home.  It's also about what you let into your head.  So what can you subtract or decline to make life simpler?

Doing [or having] less, on purpose, means discovering the kind of person you want to be, and what you stand for.  What you're choosing to build, and what you're not going to build.

Leo Babauta

The life that satisfies

A truly simple life may be disorienting at first.  It's so different from what we're used to, and from what society's messages tell us we should be doing.  But once you seek it consistently, you'll find it's a gift.

You might find yourself on the porch at six each morning, breathing, stretching, watching the sky and listening to the birds.  Maybe you'll start taking strolls in the park, simply enjoying your body as it moves, without an obsessive fitness goal.  Maybe you'll read more books, or find time for that hobby you used to love but have recently neglected.  Maybe you'll make time to cook, tasting and stirring with nowhere to rush off to.

A simple life isn't a performance or a social media post.  It's authentic – the life you actually want, the life that satisfies.  We're so blessed to be able to choose that!

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* By the way, this blog is supported by readers, not ads.  If you purchase through my link, I'll earn an extra tiny commission in addition to my author royalties.