Maximum Gratitude, Minimal Stuff

You've seen the pictures.  The aspirational penthouse apartment.  An all-white or neutral-toned room with a couch, table, plant, and a piece of art.  Is it a museum or a home?  Hard to tell, and certainly hard to live in.  Cold and impersonal are the most accurate descriptors. Is this minimalism?  Well, it fits one definition.  Life pared down to the bone. That's not the minimalism I'm espousing on this site.  To me, minimalism is finding the just-right level of possessions that allows for comfort, without tipping over into either ascetism and scarcity on one side, or stress and overwhelm on the other.  What's minimal for me might not be exactly right for you, but here's the truth:  If you live in what's known as the "developed" world , you've probably gone way beyond a minimalist life.  You probably have extras, duplicates, and non-necessities clogging your living space and keeping you from being as free and fulfilled as you could ...

Rose Lounsbury, a professional organizer, former middle school teacher, and mother of teenage triplets, has a personal definition of simplicity that I really like: Simplicity is getting very clear about what you want, and then having the guts to let go of everything else. Back in 1994, when I decided that instead of sending my daughter to kindergarten, I wanted to homeschool her until she was a confident, independent reader, my desire was for our family to be able to live comfortably on my husband's salary while I took a few years away from my own career.  (At the time, I only planned to homeschool until my younger child was ready to start 4th grade.  Little did I know how much we would love and benefit from independent learning!  I wound up homeschooling my two kids until they went to college – a total of 14 years.) To do that, I (a long-time overachiever) had to have the guts to leave my job.  (I needed my husband's support too.  Thank you, Jon.)  I had t...

Have you heard the term "beauty culture"?  According to encyclopedia.com , it's the system of beliefs and practices that dictate a society's standards of attractiveness.  It influences how we perceive and pursue beauty, whether through cosmetics, fashion, grooming services, diets, gym memberships, surgery, or something else. In our society, beauty culture is influenced by all forms of media, and it's big business.  Huge business , in fact.  The cosmetic industry, the fashion industry, the diet industry, the pharmaceutical industry, and so many more industries benefit from our beliefs that beauty exists only in narrow parameters beauty is essential for finding love and happiness the pursuit of beauty is worth any amount of money, time, effort, and attention "beauty rituals" equal positive self-care What beauty culture says about us Beauty standards are often an expression of prejudice.  But honestly, determining someone's value by how they look is som...

Remember when you had to plan to watch TV?  When Thursdays at 8:00 meant something specific, and you arranged your schedule so you could watch your favorite show?  If you had to miss it, you waited for reruns and dodged spoilers for months. Maybe you talked about the show afterwards, either with family members or coworkers on coffee break the next morning.  Almost everyone watched the same popular shows, and the collective interest and speculation about plot twists created cohesion.  Popular culture wasn't splintered into thousands of pieces, and you didn't find yourself bingeing alone like an addict. What we lose when we reject boredom If you're old enough to know what I'm talking about, then you're old enough to remember something else – boredom.  Honest-to-goodness, nothing-to-do boredom.  No phones, no content, no ready-to-go distractions.  Just you. This wasn't fun, but it forced something.  It forced you to rely on yourself – your thoughts,...

I've lived most of my life in the 20th century.  I was born long before the internet.  I didn't grow up with screens, except a small black-and-white TV that got five channels.  I was subjected to real-life social stressors, but not the added, invasive stress of social media. Maybe that qualifies me to comment on what's changed.  After all, I remember things being different from what they are today. So overwhelming Today we've normalized overconsumption.  We listen to podcasts while we walk the dog, click and scroll on social media in the bathroom, tune in to a newscast while we cook, and watch Netflix while we eat. We allow almost no breathing space for our own thoughts, no openings to notice other people or the world around us.  It's as if we're terrified of stillness and quiet, and have to fill each moment with content and noise.  And then we complain about having no energy or motivation. Is this the road we're going to continue on?  This loud, ...

I'm not perfect.  There are many things about me that don't fit our society's idea of "excellent."  They don't even fit my own idea of "excellent." I'm not thin.  I'm not beautiful.  I can sing, but I'm not and never have been good enough to make a career of it.  When I was young, I thought I had to be a star, but I outgrew that attitude . I love my husband, but we don't have a fairy tale marriage, and there have always been things we didn't have in common.  I love my kids and my grandkids, but I've always needed time for myself.  I feel drained by too much socializing, and enjoy spending time alone, so I don't often go out. I plan to eat healthy, and do it a lot of the time, but I also like pizza and Mexican food and cookies, and I eat them too.  I'm a minimalist, but I also appreciate a certain level of comfort, and wouldn't be happy giving up everything. I'm committed to my faith, but I also have doubts and ...

There's a common mindset in our culture that if you're not Number One, you're nothing.  If you aren't First, or Most, or Best, you might as well not bother.  If you don't win that medal, you might as well go home.  This mentality is toxic. It can keep us from trying or doing something unless we believe we can do it to an "ultra" level. It can make us demanding perfectionists who never rest or accept any limitations. It can make the things we do with love, but without virtuosity, seem worthless. In fact, it can make us feel worthless.  It can dishearten our kids, if they're so unfortunate as to encounter a teacher, coach, or mentor who subscribes to this idea. What if we shifted our mindset?  What if we celebrated the attempt, or a result that's "good enough," without continuing to push for the ultimate, ideal performance? Accepting "good enough" I'm a long-time performer of mostly classical music: a singer of opera, oratorio...

As those of us in the U.S. near the end of this election season, I'm finding it hard to remain positive.  Maybe you're feeling the same. I have no intention of writing about politics or candidates or parties.  It's not going to happen.  But even though I spend minimal time reading about, listening to, or discussing most of the claims made by politicians, it's hard to escape the tirades, fear-mongering, and – unfortunately – outright lies that are publicized over all forms of media all day, every day. It's become ugly, and a bad advertisement for democracy and our supposedly great nation. American ideals All over the world, there are people who long for what the U.S. claims to have, and what was articulated by President Franklin Roosevelt – freedom of speech, freedom of worship, freedom from want, and freedom from fear.  They long for what President Barack Obama celebrated in his second inaugural address – a freedom that is not reserved to the lucky, a happiness that...

We're awed by the wrong things. Medieval cathedrals were built to inspire awe – toward God.  But palaces were built to encourage the same reaction toward an earthly ruler, and most of us are much more susceptible to that.  After all, we can't aspire to be God, but we can sure wish for the power and wealth of a king. And today we still worship at the temple of riches .  We may feel awe for the infinite, whether that means God or Nature.  The ocean, mountains, and stars can have the power to move us.  We might feel in touch with the Sublime when we're in a forest, watching a sunset, or even listening to a magnificent symphony. But again and again, we return to that other, earthly cathedral.  We're awed by someone's car, wardrobe, or jewels.  We follow every move of someone who regularly appears on a red carpet.  And we imagine ourselves there too.  We're awed, but we also imagine that it could be us who inspires awe in others. We want to be awe...

Maybe you've heard the saying popularized by architect Mies van der Rohe in 1947:  "Less is more." It's an oxymoron – a phrase that seems to contradict itself.  Others include "old news," "open secret," "unbiased opinion," and "awfully good."  Or the lament, "Parting is such sweet sorrow." What does "less is more" mean?  It's wonderfully open-ended.  Answers to that are as varied as the people who reply.  Consider: Less anxiety, more peace. Less debt, more savings. Less busywork, more substance. Less clutter, more space. Less comparison, more contentment. Less sugar, more vegetables. Voluntary simplicity Back in the 1990s, a fair number of Americans realized that the continual quest for more and better was stressing them out and keeping them from creating lives of purpose.  After the consumerist binge of the yuppie-era 80s, some started wondering if the big house, flashy car, exotic vacation, and Rolex we...