Maximum Gratitude, Minimal Stuff

I hope you found my last post , "Ease Into Minimalism with this 7-Item Checklist," a helpful and inspirational roadmap for a better, simpler life.  That's what I intended it to be.  But this blog is called Maximum Gratitude Minimal Stuff for a reason.  If you want a richer life , and if you want to be able to make the most of minimalism, you need one more ingredient.  Gratitude. A lot of people talk about gratitude, many people pay lip service to its value, but until it becomes our default mindset, we won't know its power to make life more joyful and fulfilling. I believe that we find what we look for.  If we read all the bad news, we'll feel bad.  If we focus on the drivers who are speeding, weaving, and cutting others off in traffic, we'll fail to see the vast majority of people who are driving safely.  If we stare at the rude person in the store or restaurant, we won't be able to see the many pleasant patrons. The good news is that if we look for t...

When I helped my mom pack up and move after my father's death, she kept repeating, "I feel like I'm losing everything."  I wanted to help her feel more comfortable with the process, and not as if she had no future to look forward to. Now that I'm a lot closer to the age Mama was then, I think I understand how she felt.  On one hand, I'm sure she appreciated the help my siblings and I offered.  She probably didn't want to deal with all the planning and decision-making on her own.  However, as a still-capable adult, it must have been hard to submit to her children's opinions about her life. So be aware of your parents' mixed feelings.  This transition can strain family unity.  Hopefully, your parents can respect you as an adult who is trying to give the help they need.  Regardless, you must plan to respect them and their point of view as much as possible. 3 things to remember before you start 1.  Let your parents reminisce.   This process is go...

Many who try to simplify their lives may find at some point that it's not the clutter that presents the biggest challenge to a peaceful, manageable life with less, but the person they live with.  Living with a packrat can be really frustrating, especially if that person is your life partner, but even if he or she is your college roommate. I get comments and emails from people who want to know how to deal with the situation. I've been trying to declutter, but my husband's/wife's/teenager's/roommate's stuff is driving me crazy!  They're not on board with my quest for a simpler life, and I'm getting frustrated.  How can I live with a packrat? If you're in this situation, decluttering by itself isn't going to add to your peace.  In fact, it might create more tension in your household.  It's important to find ways to deal with the issue. 4 ways to deal with your differences This issue isn't confined to clutter, and it affects a lot of relation...

We say it easily to strangers:  "Oh, sorry, my bad, I misunderstood you."  "Excuse me, I didn't see you.  Sorry." We say it easily to our bosses:  "Sorry, but I'm going to need an extra day for that report because of that other report you asked for.  Let me fill you in on what I have so far." We say it easily to friends for small things:  "Sorry I'm late.  I hope you didn't wait long." Some of us apologize all the time for little or unavoidable things that almost don't need an apology.  But if you're anything like me, there are other times when apologies are difficult.  That's usually when you really have something to apologize for.  When an apology is necessary in order to repair a relationship.  When the apology involves accepting blame (or part of it) for something you did or didn't do. The conditions of love With Valentine's Day around the corner, it's time to think about love, not just for romantic par...

I can't believe it's been 42 years since I met my husband.  We sat next to each other in Sunday school on a cold and rainy day, at a church I was being paid to attend.  (I had been hired to provide special music for the morning service.)  And here we are, married for over four decades, commemorating that first accidental meeting and the one – even more surprising – that occurred the next day . The basis of a long-term relationship isn't flowers or date night, as enjoyable as these are.  Author Erica Bauermeister describes these as "the equivalent of a new color painted on your walls."  And that's pleasant, maybe a little exciting, but it has nothing to do with the sturdy structure of your house. And structure is what you need for longevity. Essential building blocks So what does form a solid structure – the firm foundation, sound frame, and impermeable roof of your relationship?  It's unloading the dishwasher even though it's your partner's turn, ...

Because we so often talk about coziness at home when we talk about hygge (the Danish concept of comfort, contentment, and belonging), it might seem like the office is the last place you could experience it.  Fortunately, that's not true.  It's possible to create more hygge at work, just as you do in other parts of your life, and the benefits are far-reaching. Let's not forget that hygge isn't just about firesides, warm blankets, and hot cocoa.  These fundamentals are also important to a hygge lifestyle: Presence – being mindful and aware of our surroundings and the people we're with; participating with focus Well-being – a feeling of relaxation and self-care through a slower pace and a bit of pampering Connection – strengthening relationships with family, friends, and even strangers through a sense of community and belonging Ambience – a feeling of warmth, welcome, and pleasure Simplicity – finding joy and fulfillment in basic daily occurrences such as a hot cu...

I had a very vivid dream a couple of weeks ago – I think it was a memory, although a few parts of it didn't fit with my childhood.  (For example, the house I'm remembering didn't have a fireplace.)  But much of it was real, and I awoke knowing how very blessed I was by my parents and the home they made for us. What also struck me about this holiday memory is that it doesn't feature shopping, presents, a trip, or even a purchased "experience."  It includes very simple elements, yet the sights, sounds, tastes, textures, and fragrances stick with me. As we're gearing up for Christmas, with all of our projects and plans, let's remember that many things we're spending our money and energy on might not be important in the long run.  Don't rely on gifts or even bucket list experiences to make memories.  What's important is how we make ourselves and others feel .  Maya Angelou said it best: People will forget what you said, people will forget what ...

My mom used to say "Use your manners.  Be nice.  It will make people like you."  She was teaching me the basic formula for getting along with people, and it was a valuable lesson. Being polite is important for a civil society.  Holding the door for someone, letting someone else go first, saying please and thank you – these are behaviors we teach our children.  And yet it's possible to have correct manners without being truly kind. Politeness might be the face we show the world, but it can be self-centered.  It might be more about gaining approval and making a good impression than treating people well.  It's possible for charm to conceal selfishness and greed. Personality isn't the same as character. More than skin deep We all know that being polite makes social interactions more pleasant.  It makes work environments smoother and more productive.  It can improve the service we receive in a store or restaurant.  Politeness is important, bu...