The Missing Piece -- How to Beautify Your Life with Gratitude

I hope you found my last post, "Ease Into Minimalism with this 7-Item Checklist," a helpful and inspirational roadmap for a better, simpler life.  That's what I intended it to be.  But this blog is called Maximum Gratitude Minimal Stuff for a reason.  If you want a richer life, and if you want to be able to make the most of minimalism, you need one more ingredient. 

Gratitude.

A lot of people talk about gratitude, many people pay lip service to its value, but until it becomes our default mindset, we won't know its power to make life more joyful and fulfilling.

I believe that we find what we look for.  If we read all the bad news, we'll feel bad.  If we focus on the drivers who are speeding, weaving, and cutting others off in traffic, we'll fail to see the vast majority of people who are driving safely.  If we stare at the rude person in the store or restaurant, we won't be able to see the many pleasant patrons.

The good news is that if we look for the positive aspects of each day, we'll find them.  If we pay attention to all we have to be grateful for, we'll notice more and more reasons to give thanks.

The science behind "you find what you look for"

This isn't just a feel-good theory.  There are several science-based reasons:

• Confirmation bias:  We have a tendency to favor information that confirms our pre-existing beliefs, and we're less receptive to information that contradicts them.

• Selective attention:  Our brains are constantly filtering information, and our attention is guided by expectations and what we're looking for.

• Predictive processing:  Our brains make predictions about the world around us based on our past experiences.  This influences what we see and how we interpret it.

It's pretty obvious that these ways of seeing and experiencing the world can be beautifully positive, or they can be horribly negative.  That's why a gratitude practice is so powerful.  Our minds are changeable.  We can train ourselves to think certain ways.  We don't have to stay stuck in a negative mindset.

How gratitude enhances your well-being

When you pay attention to all you have to be thankful for, you find it easier to overcome envy, reduce materialism, and experience greater life satisfaction.

Gratitude improves all of your relationships.  After all, don't you feel great when someone shows how much they esteem and appreciate you?  You strengthen all of your ties when you give thanks and tell others how much they mean to you.

Regularly expressing gratitude may improve physical health, since it's been shown to reduce production of the stress hormone cortisol.  That in turn could lower blood pressure, improve immune responses, and perhaps even alleviate chronic pain.

A gratitude practice strengthens all positive emotions.  It doesn't magically immunize you against negative feelings, which are a part of human experience.  But people who express gratitude are more resilient than those with a negative attitude.  That's because the practice is more than an "attitude adjustment."  It has lasting effects on your mental health, which makes you more able to cope with difficult times.

With evidence of improved life satisfaction, relationships, physical health, and mental outlook, it's safe to say that practicing gratitude can lead to a longer, happier life.

The value of journaling

Saying "thank you" is important, especially when you get specific.  "Thanks for your help" is nice, but even better is "Thank you for helping me find the perfect outfit for my friend's wedding.  I appreciated your suggestions and all of the options you carried back to the dressing room for me.  It made me feel really confident about my final choice."

However, writing about people, experiences, or moments that evoke thankfulness makes those things memorable and concrete.  We become more focused on pleasure, beauty, kindness, and wonder.  By taking time to recognize and record how fortunate we are, we can gradually transform our default way of looking at and experiencing the world.

One way to record your gratitude is, of course, the nearly lost art of a thank you note or letter.  You could challenge yourself to write one thank you note every week for a month or longer.  You could mail these letters – or not* – or even carry tiny notecards** with you and jot a note to a co-worker, barista, bank teller, or someone else who does an excellent job for you.

* You could even write a thank you letter to someone from your past.

** This blog is reader-supported.  When you buy through my links, I may earn a small commission.  Thank you.

Journaling your gratitude helps make this practice a daily habit.  It also lets you create a storehouse of thankful memories you can turn to again and again for inspiration and support when you face challenging situations.  So grab a small journal, and let's get started!

10 journaling ideas

1.  Count your blessings.

If you're just getting started with this practice, keep it simple so you can do it every day.  Each evening, write down three things for which you are grateful, from nice weather and good food to new opportunities and happy memories.

2.  Appreciate your senses.

Write about each of your five senses, one at a time.  How does each enhance your life?

3.  Recall a negative event.

Maybe there's something about the situation you can be thankful for now.  For example, I had to have emergency surgery last spring, but I'm thankful my husband could take time off work to help me recover.  I'm thankful for the surgeon who did good work, and the nurses who gave me friendly, efficient care afterwards.  I'm thankful for painkillers!  I'm thankful for some friends who brought meals, and other friends who sent cards and flowers.  I'm thankful for my children who visited me.  Now that I've started thinking about it, I could go on!

4.  Do without.

Consider giving something up for a time, and then write about it – why you like it, what it does for you, etc.  We adapt to "the usual."  Sometimes it's good to give something up so we can appreciate it more.

5.  Visualize.

What are you most looking forward to in the next week or month?  Describe your goal and the outcome you hope for.

6.  Appreciate how far you've come.

Write about something you've learned or achieved in the past year.  What were the steps that helped you reach your goal?  Who were the people who helped you?  What difficulties were you able to overcome?  In what ways are you wiser now than you were before?

7.  Get detailed.

It's fine to be very simple when it comes to your gratitude journal, but there's evidence that the more details you can write about a positive experience, the better you'll remember it.  We replay negative incidents in our heads all the time (we may even dream about them).  Why not try to remember all the details of a positive one?  For example, maybe you really enjoyed your coffee this morning.  Was it hot or iced?  Which mug did you use?  Where did you sit as you enjoyed it?  Were you doing anything else while you drank?  Were you with someone else?  What did you see, hear, smell, touch, or taste during the experience?

8.  Get personal.

Remember a person who has been important in your life.  What have they done for you?  Was it their actions, teachings, generous gifts, or something else that meant so much to you?

9.  Do something hard.

Write down three situations or people you struggle with or dislike.  Than come up with at least one quality you appreciate about each.

10.  Focus on what you tend to overlook.

Write down three things you're grateful for that you tend to take for granted, such as a comfortable bed or clean drinking water.  Or choose three things you appreciate about your body, your house, your town, your job, or something else it doesn't usually occur to you to be thankful for.

The essential piece

Gratitude will always make your heart soar because it shifts your focus from what's missing to what's present, and from what's a problem to what's going right.  It really will make your life beautiful.

P.S.  I know you'll enjoy this list of 20 tiny things to be thankful for.

Do you appreciate my work?  Why not buy me a coffee?