Why Decluttering Isn't Working for You, and How to Do It Right

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I have a friend who was hooked on all of the pretty online pictures of people's decluttered spaces.  Then she saw a video on TikTok by someone who decluttered her home in just one weekend, and got really excited about remaking her home in just a few days too.


The very next weekend she went in with her boxes and bags, and sorted through her wardrobe, kitchen, and bathroom cupboards (all of those bottles and potions!).  She cleaned out her kids' toys, and took all of the packed-full boxes sitting in the garage to the Goodwill without even opening them up.  She couldn't remember what was in them, so she felt sure she didn't need them.


It felt so good.  She felt so light, and really proud of herself.  She had the clutter under control, and knew her life would be so easy from then on.


Except... a few months later her home was just as cluttered as it had been before.  Maybe even worse.  Why didn't decluttering work?  Didn't my friend do everything right?


I've gone through this cycle myself back in the day and eventually figured out what I was doing wrong.  I was missing an essential step, and understanding that made all the difference.


shopping



How decluttering can lead to overconsumption


When I first started decluttering, I'd often make space in my house or my closet only to decide later that I "needed" something to fill a spot, or that I was "tired" of all my sweaters and needed two new ones.


I was also a sucker for the latest trends, so even if I had decluttered because I knew I had too much stuff, I'd often go buy something new and on-trend to take its place.  After all, I had just decluttered a lot.  I "had room" for some new stuff.


Of course, this defeats the purpose of decluttering, which is meant to simplify and streamline life.  And it's really wasteful, since you're buying new things to replace the perfectly good things you used to have.


I needed to learn something that I hadn't learned yet – you can't declutter successfully if you have a shopping problem.  I didn't want to think about how my longing for new stuff (which was really why I had decluttered, even if I didn't admit that to myself) was increasing the problems of resource depletion, waste, climate change, unfair working situations, and all the rest.  Donating my old stuff was just transferring the responsibility for it to someone else.


I was so privileged, I couldn't even see it.







You've got to pull this weed up by the roots.


Without addressing the root problem – my habits of spending and overconsuming – it was impossible for me to stay clutter-free.  The magazines I read might be encouraging me to spring clean, or get a new, organized start for the New Year, or freshen my space for fall and back-to-school, but those same publications were also chock-full of ads.  And today we're even more heavily bombarded with ads and promotions than I was back in the 1990s.  It's easy to get trapped in a cycle of buy ➜ purge ➜ buy some more.


To break free, start small.  Identify one or two areas that clearly give you trouble.  For example, if you tend to buy a lot of makeup and skin care products, implement a one-in-two-out rule.  This works well for jewelry, shoes, and other accessories too.  Try it with books, stationery and office products, and little home accents like candles, plants, and picture frames, if those are things you find yourself tempted to purchase.  Use it in the kitchen with mugs, water bottles, utensils, gadgets, towels, and any other little things you have no problem talking yourself into buying on a whim (or taking for free when they're offered).


(Obviously, if something breaks or is somehow ruined and needs to be replaced, go ahead and replace it!)


Before long, you'll notice that you hesitate longer before buying something, because you know you have to get rid of two things in its place.  You start to question, "Do I really need this?  Is it better than what I already have?  Will I be so content with it that I won't miss the two things I have to remove?"


Additionally, if you tend to use a credit card for unplanned purchases, or if you struggle with online shopping, consider using only cash or a debit card to help curb those impulses.


One more thing that worked for me was to spend more time on hobbies and less on shopping.  Shopping often takes the place of more valuable pastimes and becomes a hobby itself.  There are so many more worthwhile things to spend time on than searching, browsing, pricing, comparing, and mulling over more stuff.  Making something (or reading/learning/practicing something) not only kept me from shopping, but gave me a mental break and something interesting to focus on instead.







Mindful decluttering


When you're ready to declutter again, don't be so anxious to rid yourself of excess baggage that you panic at how "open," "empty," or even "sparse" your house looks once you're done.  Responsibly remove things that are clearly no longer useful or that are clearly extraneous. (I don't think anyone needs seven spatulas, three staplers, or 25 sweaters.)  But if there are items you're hesitant to remove, box them up and add a label with a date six months from now.


This "on hold" strategy gives you time to revisit these items with fresh eyes.  If you find yourself missing something, you can reintegrate it into your life.  If you don't even remember it's there (a highly likely scenario), you can let it go without regret.


If you want to take it a bit further, make a note of why you're thinking of decluttering each item.  Did you buy it on a whim?  Were you influenced by a trend, an attractive display, a high rating?  Why hasn't it worked for you?  Understanding what made this purchase a regretful one can help prevent similar mistakes in the future.





A new approach:  use what you have


Once you complete a major declutter and have better control of your spending, you goal should be to have regular, but infrequent, decluttering sessions (maybe once a month, or even once a season).  Of course, there are occasional purchases that don't work out (and can't be returned), but constant decluttering just because you're tired of what you have and want something new isn't minimalism – it's consumerism in disguise, and it's wasteful.


Take care of your belongings, and keep them as long as possible.  Repair or refurbish them before you consider replacements.


Instead of focusing on decluttering all the time, what if we became dedicated to using what we already own?  By making a commitment to fully use the things we purchase, we might finally turn our consumption habits around permanently.  That would be something to celebrate!





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