Minimalism and the Wisdom of Age

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You've seen the pictures.  The aspirational penthouse apartment.  An all-white or neutral-toned room with a couch, table, plant, and a piece of art.  Is it a museum or a home?  Hard to tell, and certainly hard to live in.  Cold and impersonal are the most accurate descriptors.


Is this minimalism?  Well, it fits one definition.  Life pared down to the bone.


That's not the minimalism I'm espousing on this site.  To me, minimalism is finding the just-right level of possessions that allows for comfort, without tipping over into either ascetism and scarcity on one side, or stress and overwhelm on the other.  What's minimal for me might not be exactly right for you, but here's the truth:  If you live in what's known as the "developed" world, you've probably gone way beyond a minimalist life.  You probably have extras, duplicates, and non-necessities clogging your living space and keeping you from being as free and fulfilled as you could be.


That said, what I want to write about today goes beyond your possessions.  Decluttering is just the start.  Freeing up that space, time, and energy is about making room for what matters.  But do you know what that is?


very minimalist room - photo by Lisa Anna on Unsplash



What you learn by living


Sometimes you don't know what matters until you've lived for a while.


When I was in my 20s, I was still living by the script my parents and teachers had given me.  I was still chasing the degrees and the career I thought I wanted, still working toward the house and the car I thought I should have, still accumulating the clothes, furniture, appliances, and more I thought was required. 


And beyond all of that, I was still saying yes because I thought I had to.  I was an excellent people-pleaser, even to the point of exhaustion.  I jumped through hoops and gobbled new experiences because I thought I should.  After all, who would I be if I slowed down, or stayed home?  What would be my value if I aimed small?  If I'm smart (and everyone told me I was) shouldn't I be reaching for the extraordinary?




These attitudes aren't physical possessions you can donate to charity.  They're identities, relationships, and expectations that become so twisted up with who you think you are (or should be) that teasing them apart and maybe letting go of some of them feels dangerous and destructive.


But there's something about hitting your 30s, 40s, and beyond that can shift your perspective.  Maybe it's watching your children become adults, or your parents becoming old.  Or maybe it's more personal.  Maybe one day you realize the career you've spend ten years building doesn't align with who you are today.  Maybe you face the fact that some friendships are no longer meaningful.  Maybe you realize that your eating, drinking, or exercise habits (or lack thereof) are no longer serving you.  Maybe you get tired of maintaining a façade instead of being real.


This kind of letting go doesn't involve trips to the Goodwill or the purchase of new storage containers.  It goes much deeper.


Yes, physical decluttering might get you to start thinking about what you really need.  It might make you question why you bought all the things you bought, and who you were trying to emulate or impress.  It might make you imagine how you'd rather spend your time and money once you get rid of the excess, curb your consumption, and reduce your debt.


But first, you have to let go of who you thought you were supposed to be.  You might have to let go of some friends who push you in directions you no longer want to go.  You might have to explain to (and even argue with) some family members about why you're changing careers, moving, downsizing, or even deciding to rent rather than own.


You can't post a pretty picture of this type of minimalism, because the change happens on the inside.  But this is where real freedom begins.  It's not just about owning less stuff, but about needing fewer excuses, spending less time rationalizing your choices, and being who you really are without having to compare or keep up with anyone else.







Today is the youngest day of the rest of your life.


Do you want to enrich the days that remain?  Here's what you should declutter, and it goes way beyond physical belongings:

  • Cut useless relationships.  Deepen relationships with your real friends.
  • Cut talking.  Instead of dominating conversations with complaining, reminiscing, or advice-giving, listen, and let your relationships grow closer.
  • Cut senseless busyness.  Choose the responsibilities and commitments that use your talents without wearing you out.
  • Cut comparison.  Pay attention to how much you already have, and be grateful.
  • Cut bad eating.  Eat more slowly and mindfully, and stop before you're too full.  Add protein, add vegetables, and moderate carbs.

  • If you need to, cut smoking and/or heavy drinking.  You probably don't need me to explain the rationale behind this suggestion.


You can make daily life simpler and freer without making it empty.  And you can begin with tiny steps.  One item donated or tossed.  One name deleted from contacts.  One comment you refrain from making so you can hear someone else.  One less commitment each week.  $5-$25 paid above the minimum.  Three grateful sentences.  One simple meal cooked at home.  A walk around the block.  One less drink or cigarette and one more glass of water.  That's enough to begin with.


No, you can't take a pretty picture of any of this.  But it could be more valuable than anything you've ever done.





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