How to Personalize Minimalism and Make It Work for You
Does the idea of minimalism seem cold and harsh to you? All-white rooms, steel-and-glass furniture, stark modernism, no kids, no pets, no friends....
Maybe you like the idea of less clutter and more space, a schedule that's less crazy and more rewarding, and finances that don't keep you up at night. But you think "minimalist" means all or nothing – an exclusive club that you don't belong in.
If that's you, I get it – because that's not what I mean when I talk about minimalism.
To me, minimalism isn't about living with as little as possible. It's not about some magic number of possessions. It's about balance – just enough, but not too much – and intentionality – living with purpose so that your home, calendar, and finances reflect your values.
The result is that the things you care about are protected and emphasized, and the things that are less important (or keep you from pursuing what you care about) have been removed to increase your peace and clarity.
You don't have to call yourself a minimalist to live more minimally. If what I'm saying appeals to you, forget the label, and let's talk about how to get there.
What does it mean to live minimally?
So, how much do you have to give up in order to reap the benefits? Half of what you own? Your suburban house? Your car?
That's not it at all.
Minimal living isn't a contest. There are no prizes for the person with the least. It's about living according to your personal values instead of bowing to the standards and pressures of a competitive, consumerist society. For some people, that might mean sweeping changes and carloads of donations. For others, the changes are more subtle – saying no to an extra commitment, removing a few never-worn clothing items, decluttering some things you don't need so the items you use are easier to access and enjoy.
Instead of mindlessly accumulating more and more, imagine the home and life you wish you had. How many pairs of shoes are just right for that scenario? How many handbags, towels, mugs, chairs...? What does "enough" look like? It's not about deprivation, but about maintaining a home that meets your needs without requiring a constant sacrifice of your time, energy, money, and attention.
Minimalism creates space.
- Space in your home. Decluttering doesn't have to be perfect to feel good. It's about creating a home that supports you instead of draining you.
- Space in your budget. Owning less means buying less. This can result in paying off debt, building an emergency fund, affording special experiences, or even working fewer hours.
- Space on your calendar. This could mean one less commitment, fewer obligations, more time for loved ones or hobbies, or simply saying no without guilt or apology.
- Space in your mind. Living with less means less distraction, fewer unfinished projects making you feel guilty or inadequate, fewer ads and influencers, and more clarity about your own values and priorities.
4 realistic ways to begin living minimally
If you're craving a life with fewer things and more freedom, here are some gentle steps to get started.
1. Understand your priorities.
Because a minimalist life is about being intentional, you need to know what your intentions are. What matters to you at this point in your life?
Now, you might think you know the answer to that, but if your home and schedule are cluttered, it's probably because you're a bit fuzzy about your priorities. The world is loud, and consumerism, social media, and even family expectations can drown out your internal voice. So don't skip this step, but listen carefully to your heart, and take some time to think and write about these questions:
- What do you care most about now?
- How do you want your days to look and feel?
- What would you like to make space for?
Dwell on the details. When you get clear about what matters, it's easier to see what doesn't.
2. Begin decluttering.
Once you've clarified what you care about, decluttering is a natural response. The things that don't fit the life you want start to get more irritating, like a tiny stone in your shoe. You can still walk like that, but it feels uncomfortable and wrong.
Decluttering doesn't have to be dramatic or accomplished in one weekend. You can start with one drawer, one shelf, or even one category such as tee shirts, bathroom products, or food storage containers.
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3. Stop mindless spending.
If your home is cluttered, chances are your shopping habits are at least partly to blame. And even a perfectly decluttered home won't stay that way if you keep bringing in more and more. Just like you have to turn off the water so you can fix a leaky faucet, you have to stop the influx of products if you want to banish clutter.
This doesn't mean you'll never buy anything again. But it's important to understand why you shop when you don't need to. Are you bored, stressed, lonely, trying to fulfill someone's expectations, or trying to bolster your own self-esteem? Will the things you're buying really meet this need, or are they just adding to a pile of things you'll want to declutter later?
One area where this often shows up is in our wardrobes. The quest for variety or the "need" to remain in style could be all about a lack of self-confidence or a vague idea of what suits you and your personal style. In that case, more clothes won't help. More clarity will.
4. Reclaim your time.
Don't just declutter your cupboards – look at your schedule too. Peruse your calendar and to-do list and ask yourself:
- Why am I saying yes to this?
- Does this reflect my priorities, or someone else's expectations?
- Am I doing this because it's meaningful to me, or because it's a habit?
- Why is it so hard for me to set a boundary and say no?
Of course, there are some chores that must be done, and some obligations that must be met. But at least some of your busyness is self-imposed, and bit by bit you can let go of the obligations that don't serve your purpose and reclaim the time for what does.
Be kind to yourself.
Pursuing minimalism means acknowledging the fact that you've added things to your life that didn't enhance it and no longer belong in it. That could include physical possessions, habits, attitudes, activities, even people you've listened to or allowed to influence you.
Letting go might stir up feelings of guilt, shame, regret, or embarrassment. If these feelings become too strong, you might be tempted to give up.
If a friend came to you and admitted something they weren't proud of and wanted to change, what would you do? Would you condemn them, belittle them, make them feel hopeless? Of course not. Remember – they're trying to turn around and follow a new path.
So why not show some self-compassion? You were doing the best you knew at the time, and those choices are in the past. Give yourself some grace, and encourage yourself as you make new choices.
Personalized minimalism
Minimalism is beneficial for anyone, but it's not one-size-fits-all. It's not about numbers; it's not about rules. It's about you, your priorities and your goals. With these simple steps, and a few experiments, you can find the Goldilocks formula that's just right for you.
Related article: What Minimalism Is, What It Isn't, and Why It Can Benefit Your Life
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10 Steps to Less: The Basics of Decluttering
Decluttering removes excess belongings to make room and time for the things you value. You unburden yourself so you're free to pursue goals that bring you joy and fulfillment. Death cleaning goes further, since it removes the burden from others of deciding what to do with your possessions. Life becomes more pleasant and comfortable for you when you remove what's unimportant, but the same behavior also creates a better situation for your heirs after you're gone.
With death cleaning, everybody wins.
I've been working on my new book, More Life, Less Stuff: Death Cleaning for Good since the spring, and it's finally scheduled for release on October 12th! You can pre-order the e-book at a discounted price ($5.99 instead of $7.99), and it will be delivered to your chosen device on that day. Paperback and hardcover editions will go on sale then, too.
I hope you and I are going to live for many more years. But whether you're 40, 60, or even 80 or more, death cleaning is a worthwhile choice for your time and energy. In a way, it even keeps you young, because it helps you focus on the here and now instead of worrying about tomorrow or towing the baggage (literal and figurative) from yesterday. Let's begin!
* As an Amazon Associate, I receive a small commission if you buy through my link, at no extra cost to you.
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