How Too Much Money Can Steal Your Joy
Do you think there's no such thing as too much money? If you were raised poor, maybe you believe that. Or if you've struggled to get by on a small salary and provide for basic needs and a few "nice to have" things for your family, you might think that people who make a lot more than you do have a much better life.
Growing up, I never wondered where my next meal was coming from or whether my family would be unceremoniously evicted from our home because we lacked rent money. I had the clothes, shoes, and medical care I needed. I even enjoyed the occasional family vacation, dinner out, and theater tickets. And there was never any question that I would go to college.
But there were things I wanted that I didn't bother asking for, since I knew they weren't in the budget, such as designer jeans or summer camp. And so I got into the habit of thinking that a little more money would be better.
It doesn't end.
The problem with that kind of thinking is that there's really no ceiling. You think a certain salary or a house in a certain neighborhood will make you happy, but if you happen to achieve it, you meet someone who has more – a nicer car, or a yearly cruise. You work hard, and maybe you get so you can afford those things too, but on the cruise you meet someone with stunning jewelry or a vacation home. Suddenly, you have new aspirations. You have more money, but you're still unsatisfied.
Lifestyle inflation is a never-ending pursuit that keeps you chasing the next purchase or experience as your income goes up. It might seem to make life exciting – that eternal search for your next great thing – but in reality, it keeps you from enjoying anything for very long. You may wish you had something, and it might be wonderful once you get it, but eventually it's in the past, and you need something bigger and rarer to generate the anticipation and delight you want to feel.
7 downsides of wealth
Of course money can reduce plenty of worries, such as how to pay your rent, buy groceries, or afford medical care. Money can buy you a certain amount of security and plenty of enjoyable things. But being wealthy has problems of its own.
Maybe you're thinking, "Hey, give me those problems! I'd rather be rich, no matter what the cost!" But consider these possible side-effects of wealth:
1. It can stifle creativity.
Limits encourage divergent thinking. When you have fewer assets, you explore more ways of getting what you want or need. Several studies have concluded that in situations of abundance, we have no incentive to innovate.
2. Its "happiness quotient" is limited.
Research from Purdue University, based on data from the Gallup World Poll, shows that above a certain income (which varies in areas around the world), wealth makes you less happy. Yes, money is important for meeting basic needs and purchasing conveniences. But once that threshold is achieved, the pursuit of more may be driven by social comparisons, which can hamper well-being. Emotional well-being (feeling happy and excited or sad and angry) comes into conflict with life satisfaction (an assessment of how you're doing compared with others).
3. It's harder to manage.
There's no question that having significant assets is more complex and expensive to manage. The details of this can add significant stress to your days, plus the anxiety and fear you might feel when forces outside your control cause market dips.
4. It can make you less empathetic.
Many studies show that poorer people are more likely to help others than richer people (in spite of the very wealthy who endow foundations and universities). This is likely because poorer people tend to create stronger social ties involving mutual aid and support. They realize and accept that they need each other. Generosity and sharing are necessities.
5. It can make you less honest.
One study conducted by Harvard and the University of Utah found that even hearing or using money-related words, such as "profit," caused participants to lie or cheat. Of course, it's not the dollars themselves that cause the problem, but the mindset people develop during and after amassing a large amount of money. As Kristen Smith-Crowe, one of the researchers at the University of Utah, noted, "Even if we are well-intentioned, even if we think we know right from wrong, there may be factors influencing our decisions and behaviors that we're not aware of."
6. It can impact personal relationships.
We've all seen people who became estranged because of money, such as an inheritance or bequest that seemed to favor one person over another. Additionally, greater wealth may divide you from friends and family who can't keep up with your lifestyle. And lowered honesty and empathy (see #4 and #5) can destroy personal relationships because of distrust and infidelity.
Related article: Take Just One Step to Find Friends Worth the Name
7. It can be boring.
Let's say there's a particular treat you enjoy. Maybe it's going to a certain restaurant. Maybe it's buying another charm* for your bracelet. Whatever it is, when your income is low, you can't do it very often. It's a splurge, so you save up for it. You look forward to it. You plan and dream. It feels special.
* You'll notice my blog has NO ADS. That's because it's reader-supported, and if you buy through my links I'll earn a small commission.
When your income goes up, it's very tempting to indulge in your treat more often. The problem is that as soon as a splurge becomes a regular event, it stops being special and becomes completely ordinary. You adapt. Something that you used to think was a great treat is now just an everyday routine... except now your everyday routine is more expensive than it used to be.
Do you see what happened there? You think that being able to pamper yourself more often makes life better. But you're not any happier, you're just spending a lot more and you no longer savor what used to be special.
Because money permits a constant stream of luxuries and indulgences, it can take away their savor, and by permitting instant gratification, money shortcuts the happiness of anticipation. Scrimping, saving, imagining, planning hoping – these stages enlarge the happiness we feel.
Gretchen Rubin, The Happiness Project
Don't aspire to be rich.
Do you want to keep the joy, the anticipation, the surprise of a special treat? Don't let your life become full of luxuries, one after the other, until they're all routine and – yes – boring. Don't aspire to a life that lets you indulge yourself repeatedly, requiring you to increase the extravagance in order to get the same level of enjoyment you used to get from something much simpler. It's sounds like addiction, and that's never a road to happiness.
A number of researchers have found that the anticipation of a trip or experience is the best part, and you don't want to short-circuit that. Sure, work in order to be secure and reasonably comfortable, but don't aspire to be rich.
If you want something, you'll figure out how to hope and plan and save and put in the the time and effort for that thing. It will be the entire arc of experience, not just the purchase or the destination, that will be fulfilling, giving you a sense of what's possible and what you can accomplish when you put your mind and energy into it.
That joy is worth far more than a large bank balance.
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