Competition Limits, but Encouragement Expands

As a young singer and actress, I was always in competition with someone.  After all, only one person can get the star solo.  Only one person can get the leading role.  Maybe only one person can get the scholarship or the coveted spot in a graduate program.

Viewing life as a competition made me work hard and practice longer.  It made me very attentive to the details and nuances of music and literature.  It made me stay on course despite obstacles.  I've gained many benefits from my abilities to learn, concentrate, and persevere, and I'm thankful I learned those skills at a young age.

But a competitive life also stole a lot of joy I should have gained from my art.  It made me selfish and critical – of others, but especially of myself.  It made me cliquish as it narrowed my circle of friends.  And at times, it made me feel worthless when I didn't achieve the success for which I had worked so hard.

On the same team

There's a better way to live, and eventually I learned it.  Instead of focusing on competition, I finally learned to be collegial – that is, to work cooperatively for the good of all.  This is actually better for any performance, as well.  When all participants work in harmony to create the best possible production, rather than working against each other in competition for "star status," everyone wins.  Everyone benefits from the support, knowledge, experience, and encouragement of each other, and the result is better individual performances, leading to a superior final product.

The mindset of competition assumes there's a finite amount of success – that one person's accomplishment means there's less opportunity for me.  That thinking is wrong.  There's probably no limit to the good and valuable things that can be achieved, especially when we work together.  Whether we're talking about artistic pursuits, athletic goals, business growth, or any personal achievement, the "success pie" isn't limited.

And we're mistaken if we think competition is the only way to bring the best out of an individual.  Sincere compliments, encouragement, information, demonstration, and mentorship are certainly responsible for most success stories.

Those of us seeking a simpler, more satisfying life can learn a lot from the collegial mindset.  Our achievements will be even more awesome if, instead of seeking to be the king or queen of the mountain, we help everyone in our orbit climb as high as possible.  The joyful camaraderie we gain will improve our lives far more than the loneliness (and transience) of being #1.  

After all, no matter how great a singer, dancer, actor, entrepreneur, or anything else someone is, no dazzling performance happens without the collaboration and encouragement of every member of the company.  Success comes not just from the director and leading players, but also from the supporting performers and behind-the-scenes crew.

Try some of these ideas to work well with any team:

• Refuse to speak negatively about anyone (even behind closed doors).
• Promote other people's success stories and tell how much they have impacted you.
• Share your knowledge and ideas.  Your generosity will always come back to you.
• Ask others how you can help.
• Use cards, notes, phone calls, emails, and texts to encourage others.
• Attend and in other ways give your support to community events.
• Compete only with yourself.  Are you better at something than you were yesterday, last month, last year?

A life focused on competition breeds jealousy.  It emphasizes performance over effort, progress, and creativity.  Most importantly, a world divided into winners and losers leaves most people in the dust.  What a waste of potential for all of us.

We need people who compete less and encourage more.  Why place limits on what any of us can accomplish?  When we value each other, we're not just happier.  Together, we reach greater heights.