Decluttering 101: Start with What You Love

There are many ways to declutter, and I'm not here to tell you there's only one right way.  But if you find yourself decluttering over and over just to keep on top of stuff, your method may be missing one important ingredient.

I know this because when I first started reading about simple living, I made the same mistake.  You see, I'm quite good at paring down and removing things that are worn, outgrown, duplicated, or that I just don't want or use anymore.  I could do a little bit of that every week, save things up, and have a big garage sale a couple of times a year.  (What didn't sell, I'd donate.)

The thing is, I'd always follow the garage sale with a shopping trip (or two).  Getting rid of unwanted things was a great way for me to refresh my home and my life.  It was the cue to go out and buy some new stuff for a new look.  My house was a revolving door of belongings.  Out with the old and in with the new!

Pretty soon, I'd be decluttering a little here and there, once again removing the passé in anticipation of getting some new things to spice up my life.

It didn't occur to me to add spice to life by learning to really pay attention to everything around me – my growing children, the changing seasons, the opportunities to learn and do new things, or the chance to notice and savor the details of all the good things I was taking for granted every day.

What changed?

After awhile, because of a pay cut, huge credit card debts, plus a big car payment and an underwater mortgage, my husband and I had basically zero discretionary income.  Everything we earned was either paying for the basics of life, or paying for things we'd already bought, used, and, in some cases, discarded months or even years in the past.

It actually took this financial hardship for me to learn to be thankful for everything I had and to start looking for the simplest of everyday pleasures.  It took a dedicated gratitude practice that trained me to pay attention to each morsel of goodness in my life.

This new mindset made a huge difference when I began to declutter and streamline our lives so we could overcome this financial challenge.  I found that I was decluttering without buying new stuff to replace what I had removed.  And we were just fine!  We were perfectly happy with so much less than I had always believed we "needed."

I know all about that brief (very brief) spurt of happiness that comes from a purchase, and how it turns into an indifferent "I barely notice that thing" feeling so very quickly.  How do you get past that?

Here's my "magic" ingredient for successful, permanent decluttering.  Here's how to get out of the cycle of binge and purge.  Here's how to stop wanting things all the time.

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Pay attention to what you love.

When you look at the things around you, pay attention to items that perfectly meet your needs and/or make you smile.  Whether it's a favorite shirt and pair of jeans, your go-to mug, that comfortable chair, or the super-cute photo of your loved one, make a mental (or actual) note of the things you really like.  Noticing the things you really want to keep makes letting go of the extras much easier.  And you're not letting go merely because you want a bunch of new stuff – these special things satisfy you, and you have no desire to replace them.  In fact, you're happy to take good care of them and make them last as long as possible.

Now you can declutter at a pace that matches your time and energy levels, but without angst or greed for more and better.  You know what you love, and you want to make room to see and enjoy it.  If you love your orchids, you want space on that table near the window to display them – no clutter allowed!  If you have a handful of books you love to reread every year or two, you want a shelf just for them in your bookcase – no unloved tomes allowed!  You want your favorite cookware to be easy to access, and your favorite piece of art hanging over the mantel.

A nice side effect of noticing what you love is that your home eventually holds only those things.  As you declutter, you hone your belongings to the things that are most useful, most beautiful, most beloved.  You own less, but the things you own are hand-picked.  Your home becomes very personal as it begins to reflect what you care about.  It's very satisfying.

You need so much less than you think you do.

It's been said that we use 20% of our stuff 80% of the time, and if you pay attention, I think you'll find that's true – or even that it's an over-generous assessment.  When I owned a dozen mugs, I still reached for the same one.  I had a "second best" if that one was going through the dishwasher, but the other ten were unnecessary.  When I had more than 80 pieces of clothing, I still wore the same 15 or 16 most of the time.  When I had five bookcases full of books, almost all of them just sat there unless I happened to dust or rearrange them.

Consider what you own and what you actually use, and see if the 80/20 rule applies to you.  Once you see that it does, it becomes easier to live without all the extras.  Your mindset shifts from always wanting and thinking about getting more to feeling like you have way more than enough.

For a long time, I thought I needed a bigger house, with more closets and cabinets.  I thought I needed a lot more stuff.  But when you notice what actually boosts your mood, you can successfully simplify and live with less.  Whether it's a particular spatula that just feels good in your hand, or a favorite necklace that always receives compliments, you don't need very much to meet your needs and make you happy.

Along the way, you may notice that a certain old song, a particular scent, a good night's sleep, and the voice of a loved one also capture your attention and bring you joy.  You begin to notice that a huge chunk of your happiness has nothing to do with what you own.

When you begin decluttering, whether it's "yet again" or for the first time, remember that this is the path to more space, more peace, less pressure to manage too much, and less longing for the next new thing.

Maybe it's not possible to "have it all," but if you go down this path, I don't think you're going to want it.

My Minimalist Basics series is much more than a guide to tidying up.  It explores life with less clutter, busyness, debt, and stress, and arms you with practical strategies to help you identify what really matters to you, so you can minimize everything else.

The Minimalist Basics Omnibus Edition* gathers four volumes in one:

• Decluttering: The Simple Guide from A to Z is the cheat sheet you've needed to keep your clutter-free journey on track.

• Minimalism 1-2-3 focuses on the balance between too much and too little – not the "more is always better" mindset of our culture, but not "monk in a cave" austerity, either.

• Simple Beginnings describes quick and easy ways to streamline daily life.

• Finally, The Minimalist Experiment details 36 activities that let you try out the possibilities of simplifying your life in six areas: physical clutter, digital clutter, mindset, schedule, finances, and personal well-being.

The Minimalist Basics Omnibus Edition is a useful and inspirational resource you'll turn to again and again as you craft your best life.

* This blog is reader-supported.  If you make a purchase through my links, I may earn a small commission.