Maximum Gratitude, Minimal Stuff

My six-year-old grandson (all three of my grandsons, really) often teaches me things I don't know.  Sometimes it's a bit of information about the solar system.  Other times, it's an arcane detail about Minecraft .  When Damien visited last month, he reminded me of an important skill.  I was fixing his favorite lunch (tuna on sourdough), and I asked him if he also wanted some strawberries.  "No, thank you, Grandma," he said.  No drama, no whining, no apologies or excuses.  Just "No, thank you." So straightforward He didn't say, "Sorry, I'm just not in the mood for strawberries today.  I hope that's okay."  He didn't say, "I don't really want strawberries, but if you want me to have them, I guess I will."  He didn't say, "I'm not sure.  Let me get back to you later about that." Regardless of the nutritional value of strawberries, or whether you think he should eat what he's given without discuss...

I'm so thankful autumn has arrived!  It's still hot here in the Sacramento Valley, and will be for at least a few more weeks, but I can tell that fall is here.  The sun is less glaring.  The rice fields are turning gold, and some are being harvested.  I've heard arriving migratory geese calling to each other just after sunrise and sunset. Now's the perfect time for a reset.  As nature begins to slow, so can we.  Even as school enters full swing and all of the retailers gear up for the Holiday Shopping Season, we can still take time to pay attention and savor the good things around us. First... make time for gratitude. If you haven't yet established a gratitude practice, I encourage you to do so now.  Instead of getting caught up in busyness and perfunctorily going through the motions of gratitude for a few minutes on Thanksgiving Day, why don't we make this fall the Season of Thanksgiving?  I think it will change the way we look at everything. Let...

I admit it – I'm pretty ignorant.  That's by choice. I don't mean that I'm without knowledge.  I have some education, and I like to learn new things.  But I don't try to keep up with every detail of world events.  I do my best to avoid the constant roar of politics. And sometimes I feel a little guilty about that.  But then I look at the people who pay more attention to those things than I do, and I see how upset it makes them.  How angry.  How they feel the need to put up walls between themselves and others. My husband stays more informed than I do.  He feels duty-bound.  Yet in the past couple of years, it's gotten so he doesn't sleep very well.  His blood pressure has become a problem.  Maybe his age is to blame, and maybe it isn't.  But he has a harder time staying hopeful than he used to. Maybe we already know enough. You see, I think that what I know about the state of the world is plenty. I know that bad things happen ev...

In our culture, bigger is always better.  "Go big or go home," am I right?  If a little is good, more must be desirable.  This applies to our meals, our vehicles, our closets, and to the screens we stream The Diplomat on. And for many, a big house is the ultimate dream.  TV, movies, and even family and friends send the message that a big, beautiful house means a big, beautiful life. Is a mansion really the path to comfort and happiness, or have we just accepted this idea without question?  What if we dared to think differently?  Is it possible that a smaller space has unexpected benefits? Let's get practical. It's easy to see that owning a larger home doesn't just mean more square footage.  A big house means a bigger mortgage, higher property taxes and insurance costs, larger utility bills, and more maintenance.  There are usually more toilets to clean and bigger lawns to mow.  And it takes more furniture to fill it, which probably means mor...

Companies like The Container Store and California Closets exist to help us corral all of our stuff, streamline our spaces, and make life simpler and prettier.  It's easy to look at their websites or check out organizing solutions at the local Home Depot and come to the conclusion that this is the way to get life under control.  Those specially-designed shelves, bins, and labels will create homes for every belonging, magically bringing order and peace. But organizing is a temporary solution.  We can organize everything beautifully, shut the door on our thousands of possessions, and wind up needing to reorganize again tomorrow.  After all, those perfect arrangements need to be maintained, and when you add more (as most of us do), you'll have to fit it in somehow. Organizing is a Band-Aid, when what we need is surgery. Minimizing is the solution that lasts.  Instead of giving up your space, your time, and your attention (not to mention your money) to excess possess...

When you hear the word "minimalism," what comes to mind?  Do you think it means getting rid of stuff you no longer need?  Keeping essentials and nothing more?  Eliminating things that don't bring you joy? Or maybe you imagine white walls, almost no furniture, and zero knickknacks or personality.  Maybe you believe a minimalist would give up all technology.  Or... the opposite!  You picture tons of tech, glass, steel, concrete, and nothing soft or comfortable. Sadly, I find that most people resist the idea of minimalism because they can't wrap their heads around the idea of having or wanting less . Yes, people worry that their houses will look sterile or unoccupied if they don't have a lot of stuff.  They expect arguments with family members or roommates who want to hang on to everything.  They're concerned about decluttering something they'll wind up needing or wanting later on, so they struggle with "just in case" insecurities. But for many of u...

I used to think a packed-full wardrobe meant I needed a bigger closet.  I didn't connect it to the fact that I bought new clothes every week or two, since all the women (and some of the men) I knew did the same thing.  We all wished for bigger closets. The "perfect wardrobe" was elusive, however.  My closet held a lot of pieces I had worn once or twice and never again.  But I thought the right clothes would help me gain the approval I craved, so I kept bringing things home. Even when I was pregnant, even after I had two children and my body was changed forever and clothes that fit me became harder to find, I bought new stuff all the time.  Eventually, I bought fewer clothes, because it was too frustrating and made me feel awful about myself.  I didn't stop buying, though.  I went for accessories instead, because those always fit.  I had a ton of jewelry , scarves, purses, and shoes.  And I hung on to clothes I might be able to wear again so...

I'm a night owl, always have been.  I learned to function on five hours of sleep because I had to.  I couldn't fall asleep before midnight or 1:00 a.m., yet I had to be present for the worlds of school, work, and motherhood, which began early in the day. My natural bent, however, is to stay up all night, go to bed between 10:00 and 11:00 a.m., and wake up just before 6:00 p.m., feeling refreshed and energized.  I should have been an ICU nurse, like my sister. I love early mornings, and they are a lovely feature of life whether you're a lark rising like the majority of the human race, or whether you've been up all night and are ready for a stretch and a reset. The perfect morning routine will set you up for success during the rest of the day, and it's especially important to establish good habits if you're an owl trying to survive in a lark's world.  No one wants to feel fuzzy or sluggish.  No one wants to feel that they're running behind and trying to ca...