Maximum Gratitude, Minimal Stuff

I've lived most of my life in the 20th century.  I was born long before the internet.  I didn't grow up with screens, except a small black-and-white TV that got five channels.  I was subjected to real-life social stressors, but not the added, invasive stress of social media. Maybe that qualifies me to comment on what's changed.  After all, I remember things being different from what they are today. So overwhelming Today we've normalized overconsumption.  We listen to podcasts while we walk the dog, click and scroll on social media in the bathroom, tune in to a newscast while we cook, and watch Netflix while we eat. We allow almost no breathing space for our own thoughts, no openings to notice other people or the world around us.  It's as if we're terrified of stillness and quiet, and have to fill each moment with content and noise.  And then we complain about having no energy or motivation. Is this the road we're going to continue on?  This loud, ...

I'm not perfect.  There are many things about me that don't fit our society's idea of "excellent."  They don't even fit my own idea of "excellent." I'm not thin.  I'm not beautiful.  I can sing, but I'm not and never have been good enough to make a career of it.  When I was young, I thought I had to be a star, but I outgrew that attitude . I love my husband, but we don't have a fairy tale marriage, and there have always been things we didn't have in common.  I love my kids and my grandkids, but I've always needed time for myself.  I feel drained by too much socializing, and enjoy spending time alone, so I don't often go out. I plan to eat healthy, and do it a lot of the time, but I also like pizza and Mexican food and cookies, and I eat them too.  I'm a minimalist, but I also appreciate a certain level of comfort, and wouldn't be happy giving up everything. I'm committed to my faith, but I also have doubts and ...

Your version of "cluttered" may be different from mine, especially if you have toddlers or pets, or if you're dealing with a chronic illness or mobility issues.  But the same steps can get each of us from chaos to calm.  I promise you'll be satisfied, so let's get started! But before you lift a finger to declutter, ask these two questions: How do you want to feel in your home? What matters to you in your life? Maybe these questions seem obvious, but if you're overwhelmed by clutter, they may be questions you haven't considered for quite a while.  Take some time to think about what would make your home feel comfortable and supportive for your life, and what you need your spaces to do for you.  Then picture the people and/or activities you want to make a place for or be reminded of, and how that can happen in your home. Now you're ready to begin the decluttering steps. 5 types of clutter Most clutter belongs to one of these five categories: trash dishes ...

Know how to become a good singer?  Sing every day.  A good writer?  Write every day.  Good at anything ?  Do it every day.  Many of us want to improve our habits.  We hear a podcast, watch a TED talk, or meet someone who's doing something great, and we're inspired toward our own greatness.  We set a goal (usually a pretty big one) and get started, only to falter within a day, a few days, or a couple of weeks. The problem isn't finding inspiration or getting started.  And the goal may be worthwhile and pertinent to what we really care about.  But life intervenes.  We get busy, we get sick, we get interrupted, we get bored.  Somehow, our good intentions are overwhelmed, and we return to our own version of the status quo. So how do we break through and actually maintain a good habit long enough to achieve mastery and make it our default behavior? The secret isn't starting.  It's continuing – daily, step by step. The most val...

Your home should be the antidote to stress, not the cause of it. Peter Walsh When you go home after a long day at work, school, or doing errands, what are you longing for?  Aren't you hoping to rest, relax, and recuperate from the stresses of the day?  But what if your home is actually draining your energy?  That could be the case, and you might not even be aware of it. Here are the problems you might have, and how to fix them. 6 ways your home might be increasing your fatigue 1.  Your lighting is messing with your body clock. Light that is too bright or harsh can confuse your body's internal clock, which makes it hard to relax. Here's the fix:   Choose warm-toned LED bulbs, and install dimmer switches to use in the evening.  Better yet, turn off overhead lights after sunset, and use floor and table lamps to create pools of soft light at different heights.  For an intimate glow, burn a candle or two.* Your home will feel cozier, and your brain will na...

My six-year-old grandson (all three of my grandsons, really) often teaches me things I don't know.  Sometimes it's a bit of information about the solar system.  Other times, it's an arcane detail about Minecraft .  When Damien visited last month, he reminded me of an important skill.  I was fixing his favorite lunch (tuna on sourdough), and I asked him if he also wanted some strawberries.  "No, thank you, Grandma," he said.  No drama, no whining, no apologies or excuses.  Just "No, thank you." So straightforward He didn't say, "Sorry, I'm just not in the mood for strawberries today.  I hope that's okay."  He didn't say, "I don't really want strawberries, but if you want me to have them, I guess I will."  He didn't say, "I'm not sure.  Let me get back to you later about that." Regardless of the nutritional value of strawberries, or whether you think he should eat what he's given without discuss...

I'm so thankful autumn has arrived!  It's still hot here in the Sacramento Valley, and will be for at least a few more weeks, but I can tell that fall is here.  The sun is less glaring.  The rice fields are turning gold, and some are being harvested.  I've heard arriving migratory geese calling to each other just after sunrise and sunset. Now's the perfect time for a reset.  As nature begins to slow, so can we.  Even as school enters full swing and all of the retailers gear up for the Holiday Shopping Season, we can still take time to pay attention and savor the good things around us. First... make time for gratitude. If you haven't yet established a gratitude practice, I encourage you to do so now.  Instead of getting caught up in busyness and perfunctorily going through the motions of gratitude for a few minutes on Thanksgiving Day, why don't we make this fall the Season of Thanksgiving?  I think it will change the way we look at everything. Let...

I admit it – I'm pretty ignorant.  That's by choice. I don't mean that I'm without knowledge.  I have some education, and I like to learn new things.  But I don't try to keep up with every detail of world events.  I do my best to avoid the constant roar of politics. And sometimes I feel a little guilty about that.  But then I look at the people who pay more attention to those things than I do, and I see how upset it makes them.  How angry.  How they feel the need to put up walls between themselves and others. My husband stays more informed than I do.  He feels duty-bound.  Yet in the past couple of years, it's gotten so he doesn't sleep very well.  His blood pressure has become a problem.  Maybe his age is to blame, and maybe it isn't.  But he has a harder time staying hopeful than he used to. Maybe we already know enough. You see, I think that what I know about the state of the world is plenty. I know that bad things happen ev...

In our culture, bigger is always better.  "Go big or go home," am I right?  If a little is good, more must be desirable.  This applies to our meals, our vehicles, our closets, and to the screens we stream The Diplomat on. And for many, a big house is the ultimate dream.  TV, movies, and even family and friends send the message that a big, beautiful house means a big, beautiful life. Is a mansion really the path to comfort and happiness, or have we just accepted this idea without question?  What if we dared to think differently?  Is it possible that a smaller space has unexpected benefits? Let's get practical. It's easy to see that owning a larger home doesn't just mean more square footage.  A big house means a bigger mortgage, higher property taxes and insurance costs, larger utility bills, and more maintenance.  There are usually more toilets to clean and bigger lawns to mow.  And it takes more furniture to fill it, which probably means mor...