Why Decluttering Isn't Like Waving a Magic Wand

By
When I first began decluttering, I had no idea how long it would take, or even how much unneeded, unloved stuff I had.  As I worked through the process – sometimes with quick successes and sometimes more slowly and painstakingly – I began to feel lightness and freedom.  I enjoyed having less to care for and worry about, and more time for relationships, goals, and fun.


However, eventually I realized that decluttering isn't magic.  It's not a once-and-done solution that simplifies life forever after.


You see, clutter is a symptom.  And just as a cold medication may bring down your fever, keep your nose from running, and quiet your cough without actually making you well, decluttering reduces visual noise, makes your house easier to keep in order, and soothes stress and overwhelm without getting to the root of the problem.  You still have to go through the process of healing the habits that continue to allow clutter into your life.


clutter-free living room



4 ways to clear clutter from the inside out


1.  Limit social media usage.

Social media can be a way to keep in touch and find inspiration, but it can also be a big time waster and a way to compare myself, my home, my achievements, and my life with others.


Comparison might help us choose between two or more options.  It might inspire us toward self-improvement.  But most often, comparing ourselves with what others have or do leads to jealousy and dissatisfaction.  And trying to "keep up" leads to an endless search for more.  We become unhappy, even if we have enough and should appreciate what we have.


Limiting my time on social media (and even deleting some of my profiles) has helped me want less, avoid impulse purchases (which lead to debt and clutter), and be more aware of my blessings.


Related article:  Comparison, the Thief of Joy


2.  Decide once.

Some sources suggest that adults make 35,000 decisions per day, from what to wear to what to eat to whether to answer the phone or let it go to voice mail.


Even if that number seems somewhat high, the truth is that we do make decisions large and small from the moment we wake until we fall asleep.  At some point, decision fatigue sets in and we start losing self-control and willpower.  Our brains conserve energy by acting on impulse or avoiding decisions all together.  That's why you tell your partner, "I don't care what we eat for dinner – you decide!"  Or even, "Let's just order a pizza tonight."


healthy meal
One way to overcome decision fatigue (which will also help you avoid impulse purchases and junk accumulation) is to stick with routines.  Decide once and stop reinventing the wheel.


Some areas where "decide once" works particularly well:

  • waking and bed times
  • wearing a uniform or capsule wardrobe
  • meal planning and prep
  • certain chores/cleaning on certain days
  • a certain time and place for exercise
  • dealing with the daily mail
  • specific times to check email, texts, and phone messages
  • specific times for prayer, meditation, or a gratitude practice

3.  Let go of imaginary needs.

Babies are happy with so little: Mama's milk, a few clothes, a safe place to sleep, lots of love.


They have few needs, and yet they're happy.  Or if they're not happy, it's usually because one of their few needs isn't being met.


However, as they grow, those needs expand.  They become insatiable.


As adults, we work more, shop more, and still we're not satisfied.  Yet many of our needs are imaginary, fueled by fear, insecurities, and the need to fit in and keep up.


Have any of these imaginary needs become part of your life?

  • the need to be super-busy
  • the need to be constantly entertained
  • the need to please everyone
  • the need to stay current with news and trends
  • the need to look perfect and be perfect
  • the need to buy/receive gifts for/from everyone on every occasion
  • the need to impress others
  • the need to control the future and be prepared for every contingency
  • the need to be an early adopter
  • the need for bigger and bigger experiences and achievements

Letting go isn't easy.  It can be humbling, or even scary.  But you can pay attention to how you're spending your mental energy, make a list of all the things you do and think about, and then decide what's truly necessary and good.


When you start living with just those essential activities, you might expose some emotions you've been crowding out and covering up.  You might feel "bored."  You've gotten used to filling your time and thoughts with things that distract you from your main purpose and from simple daily pleasures.


But there's hope.  You can adjust.  Soon you won't need the constant inputs from media, shopping, technology, and a go-go-go lifestyle.  You'll be more inner-directed.  And you can fill your life with the things you find truly important and meaningful.


4.  Practice consistently.

I've read many, many books and articles about losing weight and adopting a healthier diet and lifestyle, yet I have no long-term success in those areas.  (I do eat a lot of vegetables, fruits, legumes, and whole grains.)


self-help books
Reading about self-improvement can give you much of the pleasure and excitement of changing your life without doing anything really demanding.  As long as I'm reading about change or making plans to change, I might not begin the hard work of change.  All of my reading and planning is really procrastination.


It's possible that I want to change but don't really trust myself.  I look at my decades of being overweight and feel doomed to failure.  Maybe I'm looking for the magic solution to fix my problem overnight.


But just like decluttering, a new diet isn't magic.  It doesn't take a ton of special knowledge or carefully honed skills (unlike becoming a surgeon or a violinist).  You just have to do something real – take a walk every day, eat smaller portions, save dessert for Friday night only.  To stay uncluttered, you need to:

  • wait (a day, or two, or even seven) before you buy
  • practice one in one out
  • do small purges regularly

If you've decluttered, you already know how to do it.  Of course you can keep reading for enlightenment and encouragement (and I hope you'll choose my blog and books*), but make sure you're also taking the small, consistent actions that will keep your life clutter-free.


That's where the magic is.




* This blog is reader-supported.  If you buy through my links, I may earn a small commission.


Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

9 Best Shopping Hacks for Your Successful Minimalist Wardrobe

By
Image
If you haven't already checked it out...  I was named an expert in an ApartmentGuide article. Check out the featured article : How to Declutter Your Home Fast: Tips From Our Experts | ApartmentGuide I used to spend most weekends and even some evenings after work shopping for clothes.  I often told myself I was "just looking," but the truth is, the more we "look," the more we buy.  I couldn't keep money in a savings account, and I always had credit card debt, but it took me many years to notice the connection between my shopping habits and my lack of funds.  (I know – dumb.) So I had a closet full of clothes, but "nothing" to wear – or so I told myself as I made yet another trip to the mall.  I'd buy clothes that I'd wear once or twice, at which point I'd realize I didn't like them as much as I thought, they didn't look as good on me as I had believed, or they had stretched, shrunk, faded, balled up, or otherwise been ruined in
Read more

How to Edit Everything

By
Image
Here's a simple truth:  The more items we own, the less we value them.   For example, digital photos are abundant, and it's easy to take more.  As a result, we rarely look at them.  But the single black-and-white snapshot of your grandparents' wedding might be framed and displayed proudly. How about overstuffed closets filled with "nothing to wear"?  We often choose the same five or six outfits over and over. And the more scented candles or fancy moisturizers we collect, the more likely we are to shove them into a cupboard, never to be used again.  The more nail files or flashlights we own, the less likely we are to be able to find one when we need it. The opposite of more Our cupboards and closets burst with items we need to clean, organize, maintain, upgrade, store, and retrieve.  It's exhausting.  But here's another simple truth that fixes everything:  The less we own, the more we use and enjoy what we have.   Think of: your leather jacket that tops alm
Read more

The Challenge to Stop Saying "I Can't" About Minimalism

By
Image
When I talk about simplifying to non-minimalists, their first reaction is usually positive.  Everyone would like a bit more peace and focus in their schedules.  Everyone would like simpler home care, with less frustration when it comes to the tasks we need to do every day, such as getting dressed, preparing meals, and corralling toys. As the conversation continues, however, they often become less enthusiastic.  Of course, minimalism is a challenge in our consumerist culture.  Yes, it requires a period of adaptation.  But plenty of people come to the conclusion they could never make such a lifestyle change. I thought less was impossible. When I mention giving up unnecessary shopping, people may agree.  But once we get to specifics of wearing fewer clothes and shoes, buying fewer restaurant meals, traveling less often and closer to home, perhaps considering a smaller house or fewer vehicles, those same people get uncomfortable.  The thought of buying fewer fancy coffee drinks, fewer sal
Read more

How to Make Habits that Stick: A Simple Guide to Change Your Life

By
Image
Most of us were taught a lot of good habits when we were younger, and that pays dividends now.  We may make our beds, turn off lights, and eat the occasional vegetable because Mom nagged us into it.  Thank you, Mom! Habits matter because they make life easier. We all have plenty of things to do and think about, and habits relieve some of the pressure.  A habit is a subconscious routine or behavior that's repeated regularly.  We don't have to plan to brush our teeth, wash our hands, or put on clean socks.  Our brains choose the path of least resistance, so if we have habits in place, those well-worn tracks will be activated without effort. The downside of habits Unfortunately, not all habits are beneficial.  Do you complain every time you're stuck in traffic?  That's habit.  Do you grab a snack when you watch TV?  Habit.  Do you check your phone as soon as you're awake?  Habit. For better or worse, your life is the result of your habits.  That's why forming good
Read more

How Minimalism Has Made Me Rich

By
Image
We only get to spend our money once.  So every time we buy something, we're making two statements: I don't have enough (which might be true when it comes to food, gas, toilet paper, or some other things). This thing is more valuable than anything else I could have done with my money (again, sometimes this is true). Every time we make a purchase, we have less money for something else.  Yes, we can make more money, but that takes our time and energy – and those things are finite. So our choices of how to spend are more momentous than we think. That's why my Starbucks habit is a problem, or maybe why your clothes-buying or music- and app-downloading habits might be problems.  Maybe we can technically "afford" those things (that is, we aren't using credit to buy them), but is that the best way for us to use our money? A true windfall I recently received a small bequest from my Uncle Clarence, who passed away early last year.  His wife Alice, who predeceased him, w
Read more