Maximum Gratitude, Minimal Stuff

Have you heard of the Five Love Languages ?  It's a concept that's been around for more than 30 years, ever since pastor and marriage counselor Gary Chapman wrote a book about it. I'm not going to debunk the idea, since many people have found that it helps them understand and relate to their loved ones.  I do think it's important to note that all of us give and receive love in multiple ways.  Maybe the important takeaway from the Five Love Languages concept is that love is expressed by spending time and paying attention, saying kind and uplifting words, sharing physical closeness, performing acts of service, and – sometimes – giving appropriate gifts. Love is not a transaction. What I have a problem with is the assertion that, for some people, giving and receiving gifts is the main or only way they can express love or feel loved.  I think that idea is ridiculous, and demonstrably untrue.  How many of us have known someone whose parents always showered them with...

We've all been there.  You're rushed, busy, and tired after working all day.  But company's coming, and you're desperate to fix the piles of clutter, unfinished projects, and dusty surfaces.  How do you create a sense of calm – right now – so you can relax and welcome guests? Here are five simple jobs that can soothe your racing mind and tame your messy house. 1.  Start with quick wins. These tasks take just minutes, but have a high impact on the look of your space, and let you feel motivated by what you've accomplished. Collect all trash, then take it out. Collect mail and papers into a basket for later sorting. Load the dishwasher and wipe down kitchen countertops. Hang up scattered re-wearable clothing, and place dirty items in a laundry hamper. Gather potions and grooming tools into a basket for later sorting/decluttering.  Wipe down the bathroom mirror and counter, leaving it clear except for hand soap and a clean towel . Use a natural all-purpose cleaner...

I've been choosing a simpler life for more than 25 years, and I still get caught up in Christmas Chaos.  I still get sucked into comparison thinking.  My husband and I set very clear priorities about gifts, parties, and other activities, and I still find myself vulnerable to ads, sales, and pretty, curated pictures of what other people are buying doing, and creating. So before it all gets ramped up into high gear, I want to think carefully about what I want this season to look and feel like.  It's a wonderful time of year, but it's not the ONLY time of year.  It's not right for us to burn ourselves and our wallets out so that we have no energy or cash for the next several months.  Life continues after December 25th, and we need to have some resources left. A little advance planning about what we want to do – and what we don't want to do – can help us out. 6 suggestions for a slower, simpler holiday 1.  Set limits and priorities. It's good to do this early s...

Nine times out of 10, when I tell people what I write about, they say "I could never be a minimalist."  Or "That would just be too hard."  Or "I could never give up my _____."  Or possibly, "I wouldn't want to limit myself." But here's the truth we hide from:  We're all minimizing something, whether we realize it or not. Every day, we make choices about how we'll spend our time, energy, money, attention, talents, affections, and more.  These important assets are all finite.  Even the richest or most talented person has a limit on his or her time and attention.  No one can have or do everything. So every day, we have to decide how we're going to use these precious resources.  And every choice is a trade-off.  If I say yes to doing or buying or listening to one thing, I have to say no to something else.  If I choose more possessions, I have to give up something else.  If I choose more work, I can't do something else. The cum...

I'm sure you've never found yourself in this position: Your child already has plenty of toys (translation: way too many ), yet you're cruising through Target and they mention they want something else.  Something new.  They're "so bored" with what they've already got.  "Look, Mom, it's so cute !"  It's not their birthday, it's not Christmas, it's not the beginning of summer vacation.  It's just a random Monday early in November.  And they want it now – did I mention that?  They don't want to add it to a list of potential gifts for later. Hmmm... this doesn't sound like anything you ever say or do, does it?  You don't just buy random items because they're cute, on sale, might go with some other random thing you already own, or could be potentially useful someday – right?  You're never bored and think a purchase would pep you up and give you something to be excited about – right? Okay, maybe you do.  Sometime...

Do you remember any Halloween costumes from your past?  When I was five, my mother dressed me as a cute witch (complete with a wig she made out of gray rug yarn) for the kindergarten costume parade.  I loved that wig, and played with it for a while afterwards.  I also remember being an "old lady" a few years later.  I wore my mother's robe and slippers, she put my hair in curlers and a hair net, and I perched my own old cat-eye glasses on the end of my nose. When my own daughter was about six, I made her a layered skirt using red and rose sateen bought on sale, tulle, and ribbons.  A plastic tiara completed her princess costume for Halloween that year.  The skirt went into the dress-up box, and became a regular feature of pretend play.  The next year, the skirt reappeared, and along with a colorful head scarf, a tambourine, and a lot of costume jewelry, transformed into a Bohemian costume. This year, my nearly ten-year-old grandson has plans to dress a...